Eddie Long is a riddle, wrapped in an mystery, inside an enigma. For years he stood behind the pulpit of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church near Atlanta, Georgia railing against gays and lesbians, only to get caught up in an elaborate globetrotting tale of homosexuality himself. Four men previously accused Long of piling up frequent flier miles jetting them to quaint sights around the world so he could have sex with them, while using the Holy Scripture to justify his lust. Well isn’t that special. This is the same preacher who led a march with Bernice King, to her father, the Reverend Martin Luther King’s grave sight to protest same sex marriage in 2004. And I thought only physicians took a hypocratic oath.
Oh, wait Long took the hypocritic’s oath….my bad. Of course Reverend Long stood in front of his congregation of 25,000 strong parishoners that he grew from 300 over the past twenty four years and vowed to fight these asinine accusations tooth and nail, only to settle with these four men out of court a short time later. Of course the devil is in the details, and the settlement amounts are sealed, kind of like a casket.
Poor Eddie Long. He actually initiated homosexual cure programs at his mega church, hoping the spirit of the Lord would chase the gay demons away. Unfortunately, he must have never attended one of these weak minded seances. Long is quite simply a playah. A guy who will say and do whatever it takes to make the almighty dollar. I guess he would say he had weak moments, and the hunter was inevitably captured by the game. But, like my daddy used to say, fool me once shame on me…fool me twice shame on you…and if you ever even try talking with me after that, well, it will be a damn shame. But who knows. I’m sure some members of his congregation will believe the hype and forgive his poor tormented soul. However, I have a feeling God’s going to be more upset with the misguided preacher, then he or she will ever be with homosexuals and lesbians.
This leads me to Tracy Morgan, another brotha. In January, Tracy found himself on shaky ground when he commented vis a vis the NBA on TNT that Sarah Palin was “…good masturbation material”. Personally, as a fifty-six year old guy, I can feel Morgan on that. Sarah Smile is a honey, regardless of her arcane political views. But picking an NBA game to share this fantasy with commentators before a game that enlists some very tall guys who shoot balls for a living was perhaps a little out of context.
Then, at a comedy performance in Nashville, he started going off on the homosexual way of life. The star for eight seasons of Saturday Night Live, and presently bangin’ on 30 Rock, went crazy lunatic. Morgan even commented that he would “pull out a knife and stab his own son” if it were proved he was gay. Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. You’d shank your kid if he were gay? Come on brother, that’s not a punchline, that’s pure ignorance. Back in the day I’d say you were stuck on stupid.
I have two sons, and even though neither one of them are perfect, I wouldn’t kill either of them. or so much as threaten to kill either of them for anything less than to protect their mother, or myself. They’re not gay, but if they, or my daughters or grandkids turned out to be homosexuals, I wouldn’t love them any less. Eddie Long is simply fakin’ the funk. He hates gays, because chances are, he is gay, but he needs to fool folks to stay wealthy. Tracy Morgan might be homophobic, or just looking for an easy punchline for his jokes, I won’t pretend I know which. But this isn’t about just them, it’s about African-Americans as a people.
We really need to kick the melodrama to the curb. How can we have suffered through inhumanity for centuries, simply because we were different, then turn around and pour bucket upon bucket of hater-aide on other folks simply because they’re different. These are our brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts. And more importantly, they’re fellow Americans just trying to achieve a little part of our nation’s dream. As fellow countrymen and women, we really need to grow up, and act our age…not our shoe size.