Vanilla Ice was a major celebrity because of a hit song he put out in the summer of 1990. From coast to coast Americans dressed up in baggy, striped pants and waved their arms to the familiar “Ice, ice baby!” And that was the end of Vanilla Ice. Until now. (please see the Huff Post for the official details)
Vanilla Ice has scored a major role in Adam Sandler’s new comedy, “I Hate You, Dad”.
Vanilla Ice’s real name Robert Van Winkle — in fact, the one time rapper has fallen asleep after his hit in 1990, and is finally awakened to a glorious comedy role. Ice will play the longtime friend of Sandler’s character. Van Winkle, or Ice, actually was not sleeping since 1990. Vanilla Ice has released a number or albums that ranged from hip hop to grunge, but they were all welcomed with poor reviews. Vanilla Ice also likes to push his wife and act tough.
Vanilla’s new role in Sandler’s movie is a perfect time for Celebrity Gobbler to make a tactical explanation about celebrities and their special saintliness. Ice is a major celebrity — not a mega celebrity like Jesus or Marilyn Monroe, but a few rungs down the celebrity ladder — who really, to be candid, got lucky with his fame. Vanilla Ice isn’t talented, and it’s only by the grace of God that he’s a celebrity.
Since Celebrity Gobbler and everybody else cannot question the Will of God, we cannot ask why Vanilla Ice has remained a major celebrity, even though he’s not talented or special, and doesn’t seem like he’s been sent from Heaven (as all celebrities are).
Although it seems Vanilla Ice should be a non-celebrity like the rest of the non-special, non-celebrity Americans, he has been ordained as special, by God no doubt, and we must honor that. All non-celebrities, as well as celebrities, must honor that.
Non-celebrities cannot jeer at Vanilla Ice, because God has clearly blessed Robert Van Winkle. Sometimes non-celebrities have the audacity to lash out at something much greater than them, such as those in Detroit who booed Charlie Sheen. These are bad non-celebrities and really have no purpose or right to live if they are not going to serve the world’s greatest. (get an official explanation here)
We can expect the movie “I Hate You Dad” to be rotten and awful because Vanilla Ice has a major role in it, and Adam Sandler has another major role. But, we must smile anyway, because God, as do all celebrities, has a rhyme and reason for even the worst comedies and pieces of art made in this world.