Previously published in Examiner
Part 5 of the love series
Love and intimacy are primal human emotions and essential for good mental health. Spring is in the air and as the old adage goes Spring is the time for new beginnings and it is also the time for love. Just stroll along Montreal streets and you will see young people in love everywhere.
Love is eternal and the great poets know how to capture the feeling of love through their mastery of words and images. They appeal to the hearts of Montrealers of all ages.
We all profess to love, but do we really understand how to love?
There are several psychological theories about love
Triangle Theory of love
Conceptualized by John Steinberg, this theory proposes that there are three components of love which include: passion, commitment, and intimacy and that any combination of these components will form different kinds of love. The combination of intimacy and commitment would be considered compassionate love, while intimacy and passion would of course be passionate love.
If a love style is based on only one component, it is not very strong. It is necessary to have at least two components to produce a strong love.
A consummate love is the ideal love combining all three components but it is very rare and so precious when a couple finds this kind of love.
John Lee and the color wheel for love
Lee suggests that just like the three primary colors, there are three primary styles of love. Then there are three secondary styles of love. These styles can be formed in different combinations to yield a total of nine different styles.
The three main styles are:
Eros – passionate, sensual, intimate; the ideal of love, also called marital loveLudos – treating love as if it was a game. For example how many partners one could have in a year and so on Storge – affection, familial love, and friendship love
The Three secondary styles are:
Pragma which combines Ludos and Storge to form realistic and practical loveAgape which combines Eros and Storge to form Selfless love Mania which combines Eros love and Ludos love and forms obsessive love
There are various centers in Montreal for couple counselling
click here for a google directory list: