Do you feel you and your spouse are having intimacy problems in your marriage? Are you unsure on what is blocking you and your spouse from having a healthy intimate marriage? To help understand common blocks to intimacy in marriage and what you can do to overcome the blocks in intimacy in your marriage, I have interviewed therapist Linda Goldsmith, LCPC, CADC, OTR/L.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
“I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with certification in addictions. I have a private practice located in Evanston and Chicago, IL. Previously, I worked for 15 years as an Occupational Therapist. I have been married for 34 years and have two grown children.”
What are common blocks to intimacy in marriage?
“One of the most common blocks to intimacy in marriage is unresolved traumatic interpersonal relationships from childhood. Many people have trauma from previous relationships that is replicated in marital relationships. When communication triggers unresolved issues, the couple may argue or withdraw from the relationship. We may respond in unhealthy ways to our spouse as we learned to do with our siblings, parents or grandparents. The unresolved conflict or pain can have a negative effect on building emotional intimacy in their marriage. “
What are some tips you can give to help a couple overcome blocks in intimacy in marriage?
“Tips I like to give couples include, for every negative comment there should be 5 positives. Don’t take one another for granted; express appreciation for one another. Developing ability to empathize is key to foster trust and close connections in intimate relationships.”
What type of professional help is available for a couple that is having trouble overcoming the blocks in intimacy in marriage?
“Individual or couples counseling helps people change unhealthy patterns by examining past trauma, gain insight and work to change relational patterns. Individual counseling is complimentary to couples counseling.
Beside counseling there are many 12 step support groups and therapy groups that illuminate patterns of behavior and offer practical tools to develop effective communication skills.”
Thank you Linda for doing the interview on tips for overcoming blocks in intimacy in marriage. For more information on Linda Goldsmith or her work you can check out her website on GoldsmithCounseling.com.
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