“Body Shots” – Cabo San Lucas
Cabo Wabo ala Chicas
Last week, Alexis and Slade gave us “tubba-wubba.” This week it’s “Cabo-Wabo” for Vicki and Tamra on a girls’ weekend away in Cabo. Despite the slight differences in their personalities, they play off of each other nicely. Vicki keeps Tamra grounded, Tamra brings out the party in Vicki. Tamra called Eddie to say “good morning” and “I’m on my way,” on her way to pick up Vicki. They both said “I love you,” which was a relief for me, because when Tamra said it to Eddie last week, he replied with a questioning “You love me?” Girls, should never say “I love you” first. Period.
Seeing Vicki and Tamra get their room and the tour of the hotel made me want to pack my bag and join them. Us girls don’t do enough of those giggly-girly weekends; it’s a necessary part of bonding.
Vicki and Tamra go to the pool bar and order shots for everyone. Little did Vicki know that Tamra would be one of them-shots that is. Tamra laid down on the bar and the bartender poured a shot on her, which was licked up by a bikini-clad stranger, who then the kissed the lime out of Tamra’s mouth. Vicki flipped at first, but I think she kind of liked it, especially the part when it was over. It was hot.
And that’s when Vicki met her “Donn-alganger”-a Donn look alike that seemed to have the hots for Vicki. He even did the “woo-hoo,” which convinced Tamra that he and Vicki were soul mates.
Sitting around the pool discussing vaginal rejuvenation and five-hour sex romps with Eddie made Vicki get a little freaked out. I love that they’re so opposite in this department, it makes for some funny conversations.
Vicki tells Tamra that she needs to write vows of undying friendship to Vicki – a renewing of their bond, and though she had no time to sit and write in the pool or the bar, or even in the pool-bar, she pulled through with a down-to-earth, heartfelt, sister bond speech that satisfied Vicki’s need for an official re-bonding.
Bloody Mary and the Bastard
Gretchen and Alexis meet for drinks. Gretchen opts for a bloody mary since she feels she’s been drinking too much tequila-makes sense. People on reality TV drink a lot; a real lot. Is that the secret California body diet? Gretchen is starting to feel her baby ticker going off and she’s not swimming into the marriage pool with Slade. He’s mentioned it before, but Gretchen has hardly jumped for joy. (I wonder if TV reality people take into account the absence of alcohol consumption during pregnancy. Do you think that’s one of their deciding factors?) Just curious. Well Gretchen’s family, needless to say, would prefer she not have the baby before the wedding.
Later, when Gretchen has lunch with her dad, he expresses a little concern as to whether Slade is the one for his baby girl. Let’s face it Gretchen, if you have to keep asking, you already know the answer. Move on and stop wasting time. You’ve already said that Slade was your “bitch.” I don’t think you can move from that position to reliable husband, ever. It kind of changes the dynamic a little.
Booze, botox and bleach by the truckloads
Back to the drinking thing for a second, if you think about all the scenes where Housewives are meeting for lunch and ordering salad and drinking their butts off, just for a minute. Can you imagine what their bills looks like: salads, $100-bar bill, $1,000, plus tip. A trip to the bar for these girls is a month’s rent for me. Still I don’t think, if given the chance, I would have much trouble transitioning into the lifestyle. I wonder how many truckloads of bleach get shipped into California per year. I’d be interested to find out. Booze, botox and bleach; the numbers have got to be pretty surprising, even to someone who’s thinking about it in the first place-namely, me. Just thinking aloud.
Dresses for Alexis
Jim is fronting Alexis money for a dress line that Alexis wants to design with her seamstress. The deal is that Jim gets to pull the plug the minute it interferes with him or the kids-well, probably mainly him. Big shocker there.
Post-Peggy Panic Attacks
I was a little disturbed watching Peggy giving an interview about postpartum depression. I kept thinking about seeing her shooting Oozes last week at the gun range and the arsenal they have in their house. And then she said it, should thought about getting one and taking her own life. I don’t mean to make light of a serious problem like postpartum depression, but hell girl, slap on that hologram bracelet of yours and give some serious thought to a mini-storage for the cache of arms you have upstairs, where you sleep, with your kids. Either that, or get the girls matching safe rooms-something!
Peggy and Micah take the girls on a little vacation to Palm Springs-the Presidential Suite, of course. But on their first day at the pool, Capri cuts her fingers and Peggy has a meltdown. Micah handles it all in stride and at the insistence of Peggy, he drives Capri to the hospital. By the time Micah gets Capri to the hospital and the nurse pulls the wound open, it’s no longer bleeding. She mentions that Micah’s a Libra and very calming. Our love of astrology is about the only thing I think I would have in common with Peggy. I just can’t identify with her.
Fireworks and Friendships
As Tamra would say,” Hell to the no” will anything break up Vicki and Tamra’s friendship again, and girls weekend in Cabo turned out to be a super idea for the girlfriends. On their last night there, Tamra spouted out her renewal vows/apology to Vicki, and the girls are back on solid ground, for now, anyway. The evening was topped off with a surprise fireworks show that just made the perfect ending to a great weekend.