In case you hadn’t heard, Jim Bakker is back on television. He’s been back for a few years now with his new Morningside Church (based in Branson, Missouri). And just like Heritage USA, he’s selling condos and beckoning viewers to come and join him. But that’s not all he’s selling.
Shop at Home with Jesus’ Blessing
The Jim Bakker Show is a virtual Religious Home Shopping Network. Every weekday morning at 6am you can rest assured that Jim will be selling something, from cheap Chinese-made lockets (Lori Lockets) to rickety-looking trampolines (The Rebounder) to buckets of freeze-dried food (Food for Health). It’s all sold under the guise of ‘love gift’ donations, since Bakker doesn’t want any of this to be considered income…after all, he still owes a few million to the IRS.
The hypocrisy level has been turned up to 11 here. One week we’ll have Jim’s obese minions eating freeze-dried food out of slop buckets, sending their already-elevated sodium levels through the stratosphere. Then the next week Jim will preach the sins of gluttony while making those same big folks bounce on the trampolines he’s selling.
Two corrections here: The gluttons don’t actually bounce, and Bakker doesn’t actually preach. The sinful slobs just sort of step on the trampolines, stretching their springs all the way to the floor. And Bakker never preaches, he simply references a smattering of scripture verses as a way to get his viewers focused on whatever ludicrous product he’s offering.
The Apocalypse, it’s now (don’t ya know?)
Bakker’s latest push is for those foodbuckets: Freeze-dried food in bulk. Just add water, heat and stir. Bakker’s justification for selling this crap is that we are living in the End Times. As we near hypocrisy level 12, Jim tells people that the world is ending very soon, while also admonishing those people to prepare for the Apocalypse by purchasing 20 years worth of what is, essentially, junk food. Jim never explains how a person is supposed to heat the food, since the coming Apocalypse as Bakker describes it does not include luxuries like gas and electrical service. But Jim Bakker’s devotees don’t seem to care, and as good Christians why should they? After all, the hypocrisy of the Jim Bakker Show is the hypocrisy of Christianity. If Heaven is the greatest thing since sliced bread, why would any faithful Christian fear dying? And if Jesus provides for the flock, why does Jim sell them foodbuckets and why do they buy them?
To read more about Jim Bakker’s ongoing shenanigans, please visit The Jim Bakker Foodbucket Fanpage. Or just watch The Jim Bakker Show each weekday morning at 6am. It’s the best reality show on television.