The Great State of Maine

I have only ever been to Maine once, in 1991 when a college gal pal and I went to Vermont over the Thanksgiving holiday that year. We imagined we’d like to live in New Hampshire or Vermont and both were all we’d hoped they were. And my Maine foray was driving across the border from New Hampshire into Maine to add it to the list of states I have been to. So technically I have been to Maine.

In the 20 years since the visit to New England I have really taken a liking to Maine and for many, many reasons.

First is it’s remoteness. As I have many times said, I am a curmudgeon, so less folks wondering around eyeballing my business us my cup of tea. Not that I’m a hermit or hate other people…nothing could be farther from the truth, but I am selfish and I find people are taxing in expectations, so less people expecting things from me works to my favor. Maine is the kind of place that one has to be going to…I mean it’s not really on the way to anything other than Maine.

I like that it is out of the way yet still is in the greatest nation on Earth. It is for my purposes the closest thing to a western state we have this side of the Mississippi. Small population, remote, heavily wooded with plentiful wilderness, mountains, lots of lakes and streams and just plain beautiful to look at. The air is clean too.

I like the climate. I just checked the weather on my computer and at 5pm here in central Virginia it’s 97 degrees on June 1. What might that portend for July and August? Perhaps nothing, but I hate heat and humidity. Yeah, I know…Maine’s as cold as a well digger’s ass in February, but guess what? All that wood can be used to heat one’s abode. When one is cold we can always wear more clothing and bundle up, but when it’s 97, whatcha gonna do? Get nekkid? When I checked my local weather on Weather.com just now it also showed the current temperature for Kennebunkport, ME…75 degrees. Yeah, Kennebunkport is on the coast, but still, Maine is much cooler in Summer and I have never heard of a tornado in Maine.

People in Maine are independent cusses and I like that too. That is not to say I will never need nor want other folks, but still, I like people who are tough and dependable. Sure, folks in Maine talk funny…ever hear Jessica Fletcher? “A yah!” But I can decipher that funny dialect. Course Maine is a more liberal state politically than I care for, but Hell, if they’ll leave me alone, I’ll leave them alone.

So lemme see here….heavily wooded, and I love the shade and cool of forests; the tranquility. And the Summer’s are livable. Plenty of wood to heat my home in winter. Independent and forthright people. Remote, quiet and just plain gorgeous to look at. So I guess the question, “Why are you still in Virginia?”

Cause my people are here. If I were alone in the world I would have been in Maine post haste. But my Mom is here. My wife’s family is here. My kids and my granddaughter are here and there hasn’t yet been invented the man, beast or tool that can separate me from Ronni…that’s Grandpa’s girl. Man is she gonna be surprised if when she grows up and moves away, if I am alive, I’ll be trailing along behind her wake. As one who is not so much a humanist, meaning I don’t have a ton of love and tolerance for my fellow man, the few peeps I do love, well I love them more than I can say.

My Mom, my wife, my step daughter, my biological progeny and of course Ronni, the wonder kid! Maine would be nice, but unless the aforementioned gaggle of fools is there, I won’t be. But I do love Maine. It’s 75 degrees there today ya know…did I mention it’s 97 here? It’s 75 in Maine. Only another 5 months of profuse sweating and cutting grass and central Virginia will be like a Maine Spring!