Asking a woman certain questions will not garner very good results, especially if you want her to think highly of you. In some cases, you’ll come off insecure; other times, you’ll seem like you’re prying or like you’re trying to irk her on purpose. You may think she’ll give you a positive, complimentary response even if it’s not the truth, but you could end up with a woman who will give you some harsh honesty. Depending on the question, the answer could change your relationship more than you might anticipate. Before you ask one of the following questions, think about whether it’s really worth it to ask in the first place.
How many guys have you had sex with?
Surprisingly, I find that guys have a habit of asking this more than women do. This isn’t something many people are thrilled with having to answer, especially when they’re caught off guard. Although you may be curious how many guys your girl has slept with, it’s not something that’s relevant to your relationship; what is relevant is whether she’s STD-free. How many people she’s slept with is part of her past, something she may want to keep private, so you’re better off not asking her and just concentrating on your own sex life with her.
Am I the biggest you’ve been with?
This is one of the most awkward questions for a guy to ask a woman. Yes, we know the answer, but not many women are going to say “No, you’re on the smaller side” if you’re not actually the biggest she’s ever been with. Most have lied about this at one point or another — I know I have. Really guys, we know you like your … ego … fluffed, but don’t put a woman on the spot by asking this question. One of these days, you’re going to get an answer you’re not going be okay with.
So how was I?/ Was it good?
The answers to these questions are along the lines of the aforementioned size question — many women have lied at some point to save a guy’s feelings. Often this will happen if she’s not in a relationship with him or she’s only been with him for a few months. Asking these questions makes you sound insecure, like you don’t have confidence in your performance. You don’t even need to ask — typically you’ll be able to tell throughout or the woman will tell you afterward if it was great. If you want to fish for compliments, do it regarding something else, not with sex.
Are you PMS’ing?
You can ask a woman this question — if you want her to get annoyed at you, rip your head off or give you the evil eye; maybe all three. This is especially true if she actually doesn’t have PMS because you essentially just called her hormonal. A guy once asked me this question while I was PMS’ing and I’m pretty sure I bore a hole through him with my angry stare. Regardless of what time of month it is, never ask a woman if she’s PMS’ing — it can keep the argument or bad mood from escalating.
Most women will be open and honest about these questions without you having to ask, even if it’s not right at the moment you want to know. You’re better off letting it go if she doesn’t offer the information. Pay attention to how she acts, which will tell you a lot more about what you want to know than her words will.
More from Lauren:
Advice for Men: How to Survive a PMSing Woman
11 Things a Woman Should Never Apologize For
Tips for Dating More Than One Person at a Time