It has been a bad past few weeks for politicians what with the revelation that former California Governor Arnold Schwarzeneggar fathered a child several years ago with his former housekeeper right under wife Maria Shriver’s nose.
Then came charges that Dominque Strauss-Kahn, the Chief of the International Monetary Fund sexually assaulted a maid. Now finally, the “Weinergate” scandal involving N.Y. Congressman Anthony Weiner completes a trifecta of sorts for politicians behaving badly.
In a 2009 article about the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, Saul Relative chronicled how the Oscar Meyer wienermobile crashed into a house. The article goes on to describe several accidents involving the Wienermobile, which I had the opportunity to see in person at a local Sam’s Club a year or so ago.
Anthony Weiner might crane his neck to check out the backseat of the Wienermobile if he ever saw it in person. It would not be too hard to picture Weiner in the role of Dr. Frank N. Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, only with Weiner’s Frank sending naughty pics and lewd messages to Janet Weiss instead.
In a parallel to the story of the Wienermobile crashes comes the crash of U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner (D N.Y.), whose life will never be the same after a conservative blogger revealed that Weiner had posted pictures of his “Weiner package” among other things, on his facebook and twitter accounts.
At first, Congressman Anthony Weiner stonewalled, to borrow a page from “Tricky Dick” Nixon, claiming his account had been hacked. “Weiner hacked” brought to mind the 90s story of Lorena Bobbitt and allegedly abusive husband John Bobbitt, who later became a porn star.
Congressman Anthony Weiner wouldn’t even need to change his name to be a porn star, by the way.
In the days since the “weinergate” scandal broke, we have seen Anthony Weiner come full circle from the bogus “hacking” claim to a tearful apology for his boorish behavior, along with an admission that that was indeed his wiener in those twitter pics.
With last friday having been Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin’s first wedding anniversary, Weiner also issued an apology to former President Bill Clinton, who presided over the Weiner’s wedding last year. Perhaps the apology was for stealing Bill’s thunder maybe?
As surely everyone knows by now, Huma Abedin is a top aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. If anyone knows what it is like to weather this sort of scandal, Hillary would be the one, right?
The New York headlines had lines about Weiner being in “hot water”, talk of Weiner “shrinking” and other plays on the Congressman’s unfortunate moniker. The jokes about Anthony Weiner almost write themselves in that way. If Weiner makes a comeback, can we expect Dick Vitale to proclaim “Weiner is on a roll!?”
If the Congressman proposes an appropriation benefitting only his district can we expect to hear “Weiner’s bill is full of pork?” How about, since Weiner is jewish, his supporters, if there are any, could counter with “Weiner’s proposals are kosher!”
Perhaps Weiner and former California Governor Arnold Schwarzeneggar could do an ad for Wienerschnitzel Restaurants with the caveat that the chain offer schnitzengruben for Arnold’s sake.
Now that wife Huma Abedin is expecting their first child, with Father’s Day coming up, one thing is certain, don’t expect Anthony Weiner to win any father of the year awards.