NBC has apologized after the network omitted the words “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance twice during its coverage of the U.S. Open. See the Under God omission here.
Speaking of apologizing, Herman Cain took a unique approach by creating the “Creeping Muslim” pizza.
I started jawing with an executive at NBC (his slick name will not be disclosed here) at the Red Line LA Metro Station in Universal City, Los Angeles. Our roles seemed reversed. A powerful, rich, Porsche-driving executive using L.A’s rail system, and an impoverished, degenerative young writer standing around trying to meet people at the metro station.
The NBC executive likes to save money, and he likes the railway system. He is in full support of public transportation. “We’re ruining the earth,” he said, “with all those blasted automobiles. Over one hundred years ago, when the automobile was made, people said, ‘These machines are going to destroy the atmosphere.’ Henry Ford and the other businessmen asked, ‘How long will that take?’ The scientists figured it would take about one hundred years for gasoline-powered engines to destroy the atmosphere. And our air. So Henry Ford and those guys said, ‘That’s fine. We’ll be dead by then.'”
At least Henry Ford probably included the words Under God when he said the Pledge of Allegiance, I said.
The NBC executive laughed. His hair looked freshly trimmed and slicked, and he watch sparkled in the sunshine. “Good one,” he said. “It’s true, NBC has landed in some hot water with the fundamentals in this country for omitting those special words. Under God. But it’s also true that NBC is a bunch of degenerative heathens who indulge in nothing godly or Christ-like whatsoever. They perform nasty actions to move up in the NBC chain. You have low-level executives trying to schlepp their way to higher levels. You have NBC assistants doing the most disgraceful things to the older power-seat holders to move on up.”
That’s ungodly, I said. Maybe NBC should have changed Under God to Over God. One nation, over God, or through God, or beside God, or one nation without God. It sounds like the typical run for any kind of promotion in corporate America. I’ve heard Goldman Sachs makes its new recruits strip down to nothing and go through humiliating cavity searches, which then turn into some awful sexual escapade. I don’t know how anybody gets going on that, but they seem to. Under God is not in their vocabulary either.
“But the fundamentals are the first people who will forget about this Pledge of Allegiance faux pas,” the exec said. “The Bible Belt cries the loudest when they feel they’ve been pricked, but they’re the first to continue to heavily support the monsters who financially rape them every day. I’m talking NBC. I’m talking Wal-Mart. I’m talking Goldman Sachs. The powerhouse entities that don’t care a bit for the people.”
I’m surprised more Christians don’t shun companies like NBC and Wal-Mart. There is nothing godly about sucking up the world’s resources and wealth and monopolizing the US market.
“NBC is a godless enterprise. Take it from me.” The executive asked me what I do. I told him a writer and that I explore homeless in L.A. “from the ground.” I keep trying to pitch my ideas to the Huffington Post but they don’t even acknowledge my inquiry.
The executive shook his head. “Bunch of egotistical freaks. You’ll never get a chance with anyone, not even the Huffington Post if you don’t play by their rules and write like a sissy. America’s media networks produce content that’s almost like ordering a watered-whiskey at a bar. It can’t be too strong. Or maybe like 5th Street cocaine. They don’t want folks getting turned off.”
Or too drunk, I said. In the figurative sense. Intoxicated.
“Nobody likes fringe ideas. The Huffington Post is one of the worst for sensational, mindless content. There is constantly a sensational headline, and then a dozen headlines about celebrities and worthless shit.” The executive kicked a bottle cap with his right wingtip. “Most days I hate this country. A country that rapes seventy percent of its citizens to pay the top two percent.”
He continued. “I send my bonus money every year to an account offshore. I’m building a very comfortable home on a very comfortable, remote island. America is sinking like a ship with a hole in its hull. And everybody is playing shuffleboard and pretending not to notice. America doesn’t even have five years left,” he said. “Before unemployment hits twenty, twenty-five percent. And at that point we become a Banana Republic.”
I’ve got lots of homeless friends, I said, that would take me in.
“My chariot comes bustling down the track.” He gave me his card. “Send me an email sometime. Send me some of your writing. Maybe I can get you a position somewhere, you can earn some good money, maybe, and then get the hell out of Dodge.”
To one nation, under God, I shouted at him as we parted.
“Yeah,” he yelled back, “right!”
IN OTHER NEWS
Rebecca Black Suicides Force Young Pop Star to Remove Friday Video from YouTube
The Onion Gets Big Tax Credit After Hiring Mentally Challenged Writer to do Article about OprahAnthony Weiner Invited to Pose for John Edwards Sexy Photo Spread
Two Melville Fans Arrested for Beating Joyce Fan in Los Angeles Public Library
Obama Mandates All U.S.-born Muslim Babies to be Scanned for Early Signs of Terrorist Tendencies