Meet Your Planets

The Inner Planets

The inner planets are personal while the outer planets are generational. The inner planets orbit much faster and the combination of these five change quickly allowing us all individuality. The outer planets orbit much slower and spend longer periods of time in each sign so they have the same influence upon many years worth of birth dates, sort of giving the same influence to entire generations.

The Sun

Yes, you are a Gemini. And yes, you are an Aquarius. Yes, yes, yes. Always and forever. 100 percent. Your sign wont ever change. However, that is the tip of the astrological iceberg. Your sign is merely where the Sun was the moment you were born. The question is, which kind of Cancer or Leo are you? We have to look at where (in what signs) the rest of the planets were the moment you were born to answer that question. We aren’t going to do that now. I can and would love to for you anytime, however. Right now we’ll just look at how each of the planets besides the Sun contribute to our personalities.

The Moon

The Moon is the next most powerful part of our personality aside from the Sun. First, let’s all agree to agree that the Moon has a gravitational affect (effect?) on the Earth, namely upon our water. The Moon shifts and manipulates water, the oceans, the tides, all the way down to the water that exists within every single cell of every plant and animal, including humans. The human body is 75% water. Is it so far-fetched that the Moon has as profound an effect upon us as it does the oceans? And if the Moon does, why wouldn’t or shouldn’t the other planets as well?

The Moon always shows us the same side. It does this because it takes 28 days to spin on it’s axis, it also takes 28 days to orbit the Earth. So, as it travels around us, it also spins a bit. It’s gaze upon the Earth is locked. It will never reveal to Earth it’s dark side.

The Moon is our emotions. It is our instinctual, natural reactions to other people and situations. It is what makes us laugh, cry, become angry and feel good. Simply put, the Moon is our feelings. It is the singular reason our moods come and go. It orbits Earth in 28 days, spending two and a third(ish) days in each sign. Sometimes it’s in a sign that doesn’t get along with your sign and you feel grumpy and frustrated without knowing why. Other times its in a sign that loves your sign and you are happy, feeling great and have a really good day or weekend. People tend to gravitate toward others who have a Moon sign compatible with or opposite their own because they laugh at the same things or become upset for the same reasons. They always have endless things to talk about.


Mercury is one of the smallest planets and being the first planet, it lives very close to the Sun. It’s day is rather long, 58 Earth days (Yes, days. Not hours). Meaning it rotates on its axis slowly but it travels very fast. It’s year is only 88 Earth days. Allow me to put that into perspective by saying that if you had a model of all the planets in orbit around the sun at their proportionate speeds, Mercury appears to be at a full sprint, speed-racing around our star while the other planets appear to be enjoying a relaxing stroll through the park on a Sunday afternoon. Given it’s role in our personality, it makes total sense.

Mercury rules our mental activity including our speech and thoughts. It is our ability to convert our thoughts into clear communication and interaction with others. A well aspected Mercury is quick witted and sharp as a tack. Negative aspects upon Mercury tend to slow and dull how someone is able to mentally process information and formulate reasonable responses. In the case of a subject having a lisp or other speech impediment, you would look to their Mercury and likely find a very negative influence from at least one or two of the other planets on that particular day.


Venus is calm and leisurely in comparison to the other planets. It’s also pretty big being just a bit smaller than Earth. It is actually rather peculiar. It’s year is quite long (being as close as it is to the Sun), 225 Earth days, but it’s day is even longer! A day on Venus is 243 Earth days. It is the only planet whose day is longer than it’s year. It is also so relaxed and tranquil that it literally spins backwards! Venus rotates on its axis in reverse and very, very slowly.

Ahh, Venus. Venus is everything that is (or, negatively, is not) beautiful and lovely about a person. It rules the way people surround and keep themselves as far as the way they dress, their personal hygiene and how they maintain and decorate their environment. A well aspected Venus likes to look nice, smell good and have nice things – comfort and luxury – all around them. A negative Venus sort of doesn’t notice or care if their outfits match or their shoes are tattered and their clothes covered with stains. Maybe their teeth are rotten, they smell bad, live in a filthy shack and just don’t seem to mind. Gauging Venus in an individual happens easily within the first few moments of meeting them.

Extra FYI

Mercury and Venus are both so close to the Sun that they cannot ever be seen in the middle of the night. These planets basically rise and set along with the Sun because they are so close to it. Mercury is tiny and dwarfed by the Sun so it typically cannot be seen at all. Venus is the brightest object in our sky (the next brightest object is Jupiter). However, Venus can only be seen just around sunrise and just around sunset, depending on the season.

Their positions are also easily predictable within a persons horoscope because they are always so close to the Sun. Mercury can only be in the subjects same sign or one sign to the right or left. For example, a Virgo (Sun in Virgo) can only have Mercury in Leo, Virgo or Libra. Venus never wanders more than two signs from the Sun in either direction. That same Virgo can only have Venus in Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra or Scorpio.


Mars is the first planet beyond Earth. It is quite a bit smaller than Earth. Imagine it is an apple vs. Earth, a cantaloupe. A Martian day is almost identical to Earth’s but a bit longer, 24 hours and 37 minutes. It is farther from the Sun than Earth so naturally it’s year is longer too. It’s year is almost two Earth years but not quite, 1.88 Earth years to be exact. While Earth spends one month in each of the twelve signs over the course of our year, Mars spends very close to 2 months in each sign as it travels around the Sun. It is easily seen on a clear night with only the naked eye. It is the red planet but often (not always) it seems to twinkle – white, red, hint of blue.

Unlike Mercury and Venus, Mars is not locked to the Sun from Earths perspective and can be anywhere among the twelve signs for any given Sun sign. That fact alone means your Mars, depending on where it landed the moment you were born, can be either a negative part of your personality or very positive. It really depends on how the sign it lands in interacts with your Sun or Moon sign.

The influence of Mars on our personality is displayed in our outward energy. It governs our day to day drive, will, aggression and sexual pursuits. When placed in a feminine sign (Earth or Water) it behaves rather passively, more gentle, softer spoken – timid even. A feminine Mars will typically avoid confrontation with others. In a masculine sign (Fire or Air) it’s much more assertive, bold and unafraid to challenge and be challenged by others.

The Outer Planets


Jupiter is the largest planet of all and the first of the ‘outer planets.’ Jupiter’s orbit around the sun (it’s year) takes about 12 of our years. Meaning, it spends a year in each sign before moving on to the next.

Jupiter is HUGE. It is our protective big brother or, a better analogy, our favorite rich uncle. Think of Earth as a pea and Jupiter a beach ball. Now imagine how fast it spins. Being that large, it spins furiously on its axis. It takes Earth 24 hours to spin on our axis, (our ‘day’). Jupiter’s ‘day’ is not quite ten hours! That gas giant is just spinning like crazy! This creates one powerful magnetic field that protects us smaller planets and our galaxy from a ton of random meteors, comets and other space junk. Jupiter acts like a huge sling-shot. As soon as a potential threat to the other planets comes within Jupiter’s reach it is pulled close and then slung back out into space.

Jupiter is amazing. It rules all good fortune, opportunities, higher education and expansive thinking. When it is in a sign that gets along good with your sign, it is often a lucky time for you. Everyone has Jupiter ‘returns’ which is a time of good fortune. It happens when Jupiter returns back to the place it was the moment you were born. So when you are around 12, 24, 36, 48, etc.


Saturn is the next planet after Jupiter. They are almost the same size except Jupiter is larger. Saturn’s orbit around the sun is just shy of 30 years. It stays in each sign for more than two years before moving into the next sign. Right now it is 26 degrees Virgo. Since Saturn rules Capricorn who loves Taurus and Virgo, it does very well in Virgo. For now and almost the next year, Saturn is in quite a good mood.

For all of time, Saturn was believed to be the edge of the galaxy. It is the last planet that can be seen with the naked eye. It also catapults objects away from the smaller inner planets or they get caught up in its rings. Saturn spins furiously on its axis just like Jupiter. It’s just a bit smaller than Jupiter and it’s day is 10 hours and 45 minutes long. That is also a fast day!

The effects of these two giant planets spinning out there like mad on us humans are almost completely opposite. Where Jupiter is jovial and generous, Saturn is stern and unsympathetic. Saturn teaches us lessons. Just when you think life is going wonderfully and couldn’t get better, Saturn throws you a curve ball that tests your character and strength. It’s the icy, indifferent voice we hear asking us “just who do we think we are?” and then busts our chops when we get a little too cocky. It rules hard work, discipline and dedication. Of course, as with every planet, it is more pronounced in some people than in others.


The planet Uranus is very eccentric and it should be. The most fascinating thing about Uranus is its rotation on its axis or ‘day.’ Earths tilt on its axis (the imaginary line it spins around) is about 23 degrees, just a little to the left. That is what gives us our seasons. In summer we are tilted closer to the sun and in winter we are tilted away. Uranus has a tilt on its axis of almost 98 degrees! It is basically laying on its side. Uranus rolls around the sun. Its year is 84 years so each pole gets 42 years of continuous sunlight and then 42 years of continuous darkness. It has rings like Jupiter and Saturn but the rings of Uranus, because of its tilt, are vertical instead of horizontal. Uranus is now 24 degrees Pisces. It spends more than 6 years in each sign so it will stay in Pisces for the next year and a half or so before it moves into Aries.

Uranus is a favorite of mine because early on I just ‘got’ it about this quirky planet. Uranus is that thing about people that draws them toward or repels them from the unknown, the unpredictable. It’s something you can sense about folks but aren’t sure how to explain it. This planet rules all change and technology. People who have a well aspected Uranus in their chart (the moment they were born) just love everything new and different, gadgets and electronic items. People who don’t have a well aspected Uranus are the ones you hear offering stale, worn-out, one-liners our parents and their parents coined way back in the yesterday and every one has heard a million times in a million different ways. If you pay close enough attention you’ll almost always get to witness the drumroll play in their mind while they pause to bask in the glory of your reaction at their clever mental gymnastics. I imagine we have all endured that awkward, “oh! haha. uhh, yeeeah…” moment upon realizing our friend Sara’s boyfriend’s roommate’s older brothers friend from work should consider newer material.

An afflicted Uranus individual will also make blanket statements like, I’m computer illiterate, but they have never bothered trying to find the power button. They might still own wind-up clocks, cork dartboards and do the dishes by hand because they don’t trust that dang dishwasher. It doesn’t get the dishes clean, they offer as just and irrefutable evidence, while a great many others will let a single plate, cup or spoon thru 20 consecutive cycles if it doesnt get clean in the first 19 tries.

I bet we have all been in similar situations before like, let’s say, you’re with one of your friends, a more casual friend that you don’t see very often, perhaps. Your friend brings you over to visit at one of their friends houses whom you have never met. When you arrive you literally feel like you just walked into the abandoned portion of your new host’s generational time warp. Imagine yourself – polite, well mannered, a damn fine house guest, being sort of temporarily imprisoned in a Jurassic park of lost and forgotten moments in history – and somehow you must still exude genuine kindness and grace toward this poor, electronically anguished stranger for t-minus a frighteningly unspecified, daunting length of time. Out of sheer boredom, lack of both mental stimulation and intelligent conversation, you pacify your overactive mind with more detailed assesment of this Museum Gran Historidad Del Mihshew Iduunhavaklu.

Picture this, there is twist knob tv perched majestically upon a floor-model console type TV. This image alone should garner a great deal of unanswered questions from the average rational human being. For instance, who was the genius that cleverly gave birth the idea that the screen upon which American families should view their nightly news belonged on the FLOOR? How was that EVER a good idea for anyone involved, except maybe the kids? Anyway, back to our imaginary tv’s now, please. Again we’re at our new friends and just quietly taking it all in….okay. Uncomfortable silence becomes random idle chat: “So what you are saying is that the twist-knob model on top is smaller but newer than the TV on the floor? Okay. But the floor model cost a cool THREE g’s in 1977? Clearly it’s superior to the one on top, right? Wow. Yah, thats impressive. Does it still power on? It doesn’t? Ahh, it needs a picture tube. Right, right. ::Nodding politely:: So, these ‘picture tubes’ you speak of, why not just go buy one? What!? The tv repair shop doesn’t carry them anymore!? No way. What about down at the Wal-Marts? No? Outrageous! Well, on the bright side, it’s a lovely, super-sturdy, behemoth of a beer coaster, eh?” Of course, dont forget to keep nodding cheerfully while mentally noting how many million of your IQ points just died of starvation. But, wait. There’s more! Picture ridiculous stacks of media memorabilia like, a beta/vhs player, and – state of the art in its day, the founding father and pioneer of media piracy in its infancy – the 4 head, duel cassette, high-speed dubbing vhs player/recorder, and finally, leaping now into the 21st century, the vhs/dvd combo player. Keep in mind that this collection could just as easily be orphans and hand-me-downs as they could be cherished and well loved Christmas and Birthday gifts that have long since earned their peaceful place in hi-fi heaven. The once fancy and universally misunderstood digital clocks on these machines still lovingly remind us in their simple yet compelling one word language of “noon-noon-noon” that it is always time for a beer on planet vhs. Although plugged in properly, none of these are hooked up correctly or functioning on even the most basic level. They are therefore useless either way, with or without power. What else? Oh, we have portable radio’s and super light-weight (well actually, hollow) faux home sterio systems that aren’t now and havent been plugged in or enjoyed a single moment since our hosts maternal side of the family had to clean out her garage following the tragic loss of great-aunt Bertha. (Side note: Aunt Bertha was an even less charming version of Fred Flintstones fat, obnoxious, chain-smoking mother-in-law. Only Miss Bertha also had interestingly orange stained fingers and a rust colored, hairy upper-lip just under her beautiful, burnt-sienna nostrils. Apparently, once upon a time it was quite fashionable to ‘French Inhale’ ones nasty ass cigarette smoke out the mouth and up the nose. Great Aunt Bertha had practiced her craft like an obedient ballerina dead-set on a leading role in the Nutcracker. She also got clobbered by a big ol fugly stick and spent a great many of her latter years starring as, nope – not a toy soldier in the Christmas classic but as the scary, shit-stained, strung-out lunch lady on meth! Oh my.) Yes, dear dear, great-aunt Bertha, who’s untimely passing and consequent bestowing of countless obsolete electronic relics upon the maternal side of our hypothetical host’s family have completely proven these items are as irrelevant in the ‘here and now’ as they were collecting cobwebs in that lovely woman’s garage. Season all of the above with a plethora of old hand-me-down cell phones who’s size alone would dwarf most men in the nether-regions and then garnish with two Super-Nintendos that share one broken paddle between them. As your new host starts looking more and more Amish by the minute, you finally elbow your buddy in the ribs and plead with her to rush you straight back to the future!

Footnote: Your experience may not be as other worldly as this but you get the idea of what yer looking at if you find yourself somewhere similar. Of course, my experience on this particular occasion may have been enhanced by a certain lysergic acid diethylamide, but I cant say for sure. All I know is by the time we left, girls car was like a WoooahSpaceShipTimeMachine! Cool. Beam me ANYWHERE. Far away from here! It was also abundantly clear that on the day our imaginary host was brought into this world, planet Uranus was not getting along well with the other planets, to say the least!


Neptune is the second of the three outermost planets. Neptune is so far from the sun that its orbit or ‘year’ is almost 165 years. It spends about 13 years in each sign. Right now it is 23 degrees Aquarius along with Jupiter. It is too far to see without a telescope but it will be out there in Aquarius for the next three years or so. These two planets compliment each other nicely. It is a very good influence.

Neptune is like Venus’ dreamy big brother. Venus rules all things aesthetically pleasing, like beauty, gentleness, comfort and luxury. Venus is very loving and patient. The pleasures of Venus are tangible. Neptune also favors all of those things but its influence is from a much higher octave. The pleasures of Neptune are intangible. Neptune is fantasy, imagination and art in all forms. It is extraordinary, creative and dreamy. The influence of a strong Neptune can manifest in all sorts of ways. It can be as simple as a pretty painting or poem. It can be as riveting as Marilyn Manson. A powerful Neptune when brought to fruition will always seem to be from way beyond ordinary and will cause it’s witness to have to reevaluate their own sense of reality.


Pluto is power plain and simple. It is the last and also smallest planet in our galaxy. However, in this tiny package called Pluto is undeniable intense life changing power. Pluto is so far from the sun that it’s orbit is 248 years. It spends almost 27 years in each sign. Right now it is just barely into Capricorn, just 1 degree. The earth signs (Cappie, Taurus, Virgo) will be feelin some positive Pluto power for the next 30 years or so.

Pluto has a moon, Charon and the two of them have a very powerful relationship. They are almost the same size and are like two tiny planets acting as one. The duo’s gravity has locked them into a mutually synchronous orbit, which keeps each one facing the other with the same side at all times. They spin around and around each other, gazes locked tight.

The effects of Pluto are very mysterious. The pattern usually starts with something happening that is so small, seemingly insignificant and largely unnoticed. That one small thing with its slightest effect sets into motion a string of events that may not even seem related. But over time all these events snowball into complete life changing upheaval and it seems your world is suddenly upside down. Its an involuntary re-birth and its usually for the better. You don’t notice while its happening but when everything settles into place and the smoke clears you can usually always look back and see how one little thing lead to the next.