I’ve been reporting on the wonderful world of Coney Island’s, “Insectavora.” As you may have heard, she’s donating $10,000 and the worldwide rights to a finished feature film, “Night Of The Day Of The Dawn Of The Son — Part 5,” to charity. She’s using a unique and bold process to get this done. She’s making an offer to a list of major celebrities: review my movie and you can have $10,000 to donate to the charity of your choice along with the worldwide rights to sell to any company you want as long as you take the money from that sale and also donate that money to the charity of your choice. Recently, she was turned down by “South Park” creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Insectavora wanted to address this rejection and wrote Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker a letter. At Insectavora’s request, I’m reprinting it here.
Dear Matt and Trey,
I’m just writing to let you know that I’m extremely upset at the cruel rejection I received from you two comedians. Is there some sort of problem here? I go out of my way to make sure you’re included on this list of magical celebrities that have been chosen for this worthy project and all I get from you two TV rebels is a big fat “no!” Too good for me, are you? Too high and mighty to deal with the little people? Too self-important to spare a few precious minutes of your valuable time? I’m trying to hold back the tears but jeez, it’s getting hard. I better change the subject before I have a complete breakdown.
Hey, guess what? In case you guys don’t know, I have a birthday coming up. I like to receive gifts and just to make sure I don’t get anything I can’t use I always make up a “wish list.” This year there’s only one thing on it, an interesting piece I’m looking to add to my coin collection. It’s a “proof” condition 1838-O Liberty Half Dollar. The “O” means it was minted in New Orleans. Isn’t that cool? That’s why I want it, because it was minted in New Orleans. That, and it’s worth half a million dollars. That’s also really cool. So get that for me for my birthday. And if you want to be extra nice and make my birthday super special then buy me a car. Here’s a suggestion: a cherry red mint condition 1967 Ford Shelby Mustang GT 500 with the high performance 289 four barrel aluminum hi-rise engine and the 428 Italian Police Interceptor. And while you’re at it you might as well pick me up an ice-cream cake from Baskin-Robbins.
Okay, I gotta go snag a six pack and get back to work on my charity project.
Oh, and if you ever change your minds about my charity project you would have to review the film and get the money donated by October 20, 2011 because the next day, October 21, is the end of the world. So you’d really have to get your butts in gear and start immediately. Think about it. The world needs more kindness. Bye now.
for info on the charity project log onto www.NightOfTheDayOfTheDawn.org