For the last few months I’ve been reporting on the magical world of Coney Island’s, “Insectavora.” As you may have heard, she’s generously donating $10,000 and the worldwide rights to a finished feature film, “Night Of The Day Of The Dawn Of The Son – Part 5,” to charity. She’s using a unique and bold process to get this done. She’s making an offer to a list of major celebrities: review my movie and you can have $10,000 to donate to the charity of your choice along with the worldwide rights to sell to any company you want as long as you take the money from that sale and also donate that money to the charity of your choice. Recently, she was turned down by “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane. Insectavora wanted to address this rejection and wrote Mr. MacFarlane a letter. At Insectavora’s request, I’m reprinting it here.
I would like to respond to your brutal and merciless decision to not get involved from the charity project I am working on. I am tailoring my response to your academic background. I was recently informed that you were educated at the prestigious and world-renowned “Kent School,” in Kent, Connecticut. Any high school that has its own rowing team is obviously entrenched in the upper crust of scholastic capabilities and with a student- to-teacher ratio of 7 to 1 I’m sure they packed your brain with serious Albert Einstein-like wattage. I’m gonna do my best. Here I go.
So my attempt to propitiate your percipience and propel my laudable charity project forward has failed. Perhaps a little nepenthe is in order. Yes, I must have seemed like a real hoyden to approach a recherche and winsome talent like yourself. Please know that my intent was always of a true hortatory nature. I do not feel enervated or lugubrious by your refusal to show munificent actions toward my oblation. In the world of entertainment you are a godhood. Perhaps my encephalon was in a farrago when I birthed this roseate adventure. But again, you’re indifference has not rendered me non compos mentis. So carry on, oh flagitious one.
Okay, that’s it. Oh, and since you’re not going to spare a few hours of your precious time can you at least spare a few of your precious bucks? I’m a little behind on my rent and could really use a check for $600. Make it out to “cash.” Thanks buddy.
P.S. If you need more info log on to www.NightOfTheDayOfTheDawn.org
P.S.S. If you ever grow a heart and change your mind about my charity project the film would need to be reviewed and the money donated to charity by October 20, 2011 because the new date for the apocalypse is October 21, 2011. So you’d need to get your butt in gear and do it immediately. Think about it. The world needs more kindness. Bye now.