I’ve been reporting on Coney Island’s stunning sideshow performer/actress/singer, “Insectavora.” As you may have heard, she’s donating $10,000.00 and the worldwide rights to a finished feature film, “Night Of The Day Of The Dawn Of The Son – Part 5,” to charity. She’s using a unique and bold process to get this done, making a wonderfully unselfish offer to a list of major celebrities: review my movie and you can have $10,000 to donate to the charity of your choice along with the worldwide rights to sell to any company you want as long as you take the money from that sale and also donate that money to the charity of your choice. One of the celebrities on the list is Conan O’Brien. Insectavora got in touch with me the other day and said she had written Mr. O’Brien a letter. She said she wanted me to print it. Here are her magic words to Mr. O’Brien.
Every night, when I sit in bed and watch you interview talented celebrities, you make me forget that the Earth is a garbage dump that deserves to be destroyed by a giant meteor. You seem to have the ability, just by telling well-crafted jokes, to make me forget that each day of my life is a screaming nightmare. Sometimes, if your show is funny enough, I don’t even have to down my usual quart of strawberry vodka to get to sleep. I want to thank you for that.
Hey, have you been following the news about the predicted apocalypse? Originally it was set for May 21, 2011. For whatever reason, that didn’t pan out. The new date for the end of this pointless planet is now October 21, 2011. That’s only a few months away. Personally, I’m not really against the world coming to an end but I’d like to a do a few good deeds before the closing credits.
So here’s my suggestion for one and it includes you: I want you to review a movie I’m in. It’s called, “Night Of The Day Of The Dawn Of The Son Of The Bride Of The Return Of The Revenge Of The Terror Of The Attack Of The Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating, Crawling, Alien, Zombified, Subhumanoid, Living Dead – Part 5.” You do that and I’ll give you $10,000 to donate to the charity of your choice and I’ll also throw in the copyright to the film. You can sell the movie to whatever company you want as long as you take the money from that sale and donate it to the charity of your choice. You could work it into your show if you’d like and maybe have one of those crazy characters like “Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog,” review it. Okay my new friend, I have other things to do besides writing an honest and flattering letter to one of the funniest and best looking men on the planet. Kick this around in your jumbo sized brain, work out all the kinks, and make this baby happen. Chow!
Peace and Love,
p.s. go to www.NightOfTheDayOfTheDawn.org for more info.