Michel heard her cell phone ring inside the store while she picked up her wedding dress. By the ringtone, she knew who it was before looking at the screen. “Hey Kaci.”
“Michel! What you’re doing?”
Michel could tell she got something up her sleeve by her ebullience. “Picking up my wedding dress. What are you up too?” She asked suspiciously.
“Nothing much. I just wanted to tell you to free your schedule for the rest of the day because I got a special party planned for you this afternoon at 7.”
“I told you I don’t want a bachelorette party.”
“Did I say it’s a bachelorette party?”
“Come on Kaci. First of all I know you. Second of all what else kind of special party can a girl have the night before her wedding?” The clerk smirks at Michel, and she blushes.
“Look just be at my place at 7, okay, bye.” Kaci hung up before Michel could plead with her.
“If she is a good friend then she would have called Late Night WonderWorks. They’re the best strippers in town.” The clerk said handing Michel her dress.
Michel merely smiled and wondered why a 60 year old woman would know that.
Her phone rang around 6:00 PM while she was baking two honey corn dogs. By the ringtone, she knew who was calling before she contemplated the screen. “Hey boo!”
“Hey baby, what you up too?”
“Nothing just fixing some corn dogs.”
“I hope you don’t be too busy to cook a real meal once we’re married.”
“Of course not boo, it’s just been so much work to get done. I’ll be cooking again once we get settled in our new home!”
“Ha ha. I just wanted to check up on you and let you know me and the boys are going out for some beers tonight.”
“Okay that’s fine.”
“What you gettin’ into tonight?”
Michel takes the corn dogs out the oven without thinking and burns her fingers. “Shit!”
“Okay, okay I just asked a question.”
“Oh no baby I wasn’t talking to you; I just burned my fingers on this cookie sheet.” She runs her fingers through cold water out the faucet.
“Uh oh, I don’t wanna put a ring on ya finger n’see dead crusty skin fallin’ off. Makes me feel like I’m marryin’ a zombie.”
“Shut up!” Michel laughed. “But yeah, Maci called me earlier and said she got a special party for me so I’ll be at her place tonight.”
“Michel, I thought we both agreed we weren’t going to have stripper parties.”
“I asked her what kind of party it is and she didn’t tell me.”
“Come on Michel, we both know how crazy she is, it doesn’t take rocket science to know what kind of party she’s talkin’ bout.”
“Yeah I know, but she sounded like she already paid for it and it’s not that I want to go but I don’t want to be disrespectful to her either.”
“Disrespectful? Is she being respectful by throwing a stripper party without your consent?”
“George, please, this is not good for us to argue the night before our wedding. I promise if any of those guys try to go to far I will hit them where it hurts.” She heard George start to breathe hard on the phone.
“Okay, I trust you. I love you.”
“I love you too baby.” George hung up the phone first, and Michel laid her phone down on the counter and sucked on the finger that hurt the most.
After she ate her corn dogs she took a shower and readied for the party. She arrived at Kaci’s place around 7:15 in jeans and a button plaid shirt. Kaci answers the door. “Hey! Come on in.”
Michel walked in and saw girls standing around socializing with martinis in their hands, and some were on the couch watching Sex and the City 2. Once a few people noticed who walked in they got everyone’s attention to greet the bride to be.
“See, I told you it’s just a little get together before your big day tomorrow, no worries.” Maci walked away with a sneaky smirk on her face that Michael didn’t catch.
“Thanks everyone.” She waved and quickly made her way to the cocktail bowl to lose the attention.
After thirty minutes of standing around and socializing with everyone, Michel had about enough drinks to get her a tipsy. Three more drinks and she would become drunk. The doorbell rings and Maci rushed to answer it. Suddenly, the lights went off and blue lights came on with techno music. Two girls grabbed Michael’s arms and forced her into the solo chair.
A man dressed in a doctor uniform with a stethoscope around his neck strolls in the room, and Michel gasped. She deliberated Maci with horror and Maci shrugged her shoulders as if she didn’t know what was happening.
“I thought you said it was a get together.”
“Yeah it is a get together with the girls and….him.” She flipped her finger at the doctor who made her way to Michel.
He started to strip his white coat, and the girls screamed with ebullience except Michel who screamed as if he were going to kill her and she covered her eyes. Two girls grabbed her hands from her eyes and a tanned man with washboard abs, and a chisel torso stood in front of her eyes. He ripped his pants off which left nothing but a speedo covering his penis.
“Okay, okay. You got me now can we pay the man so he can leave?” She yelled over the music to Maci.
“No! The party is just getting started.”
The girls release Michel’s hands and stuffed one dollar bills in the stripper’s speedo.
Michel covered her eyes and peaked through her fingers to see whether the stripper moved to another girl, instead he came closer, and his penis was directly in her face. She thought his penis to be weird looking, it looked like one of those colorful balls kids jump in at the jungle gym was behind that too tight too small speedo.
“You ready to have the last best night of your life sweetie?”
“Are you gay?” She thought by the sound of his feminine voice, but he didn’t respond.
One of the girls pulled his speedo down, and the room became silent. Michel mouth opened as if dehydrated and a river dam just broke. The stripper stood there with an embarrassed smile for a minute, picked up his or her clothes and ran out the door.
“What the hell was that?”
“I don’t know!”
“Is this some kind of stupid joke?”
Everyone stood around contemplating each other. By everyone’s faces, Michel knew that they were as ignorant about the true gender of the stripper as she was.
“Where did you order that stripper from?”
“Late Night WonderWorks.”
“A transgender stripper company?”
“I don’t know; the phonebook said straight men for single ladies.”