How to Tell If a Man is Abusive

Often, nonphysical violence leaves deep wounds that are psychologically hard to get over. No one should ever live in fear of their abuser. Learning how to recognize the signs of an abusive person is essential in any relationship, whether it is a friendship, intimate relationship or marriage. Learn how to recognize the signs of abuse before it happens.

Sign 1

A man who enters into a serious relationship quickly may be a sign of abuse. If he is constantly giving you compliments and tries to get extremely close, watch out.

Sign 2
If he acts jealous and possessive towards the you all the time. An abuser becomes jealous of his victims friendships, whether the friends are male or female or even family members.

Sign 3
Does he interrogate you on a regular basis? An abuser will constantly need to know where you are and what you are doing. He may call you constantly, check up on you and demand that you tell him what your plans are.

Sign 4
If a man displays violence during an argument by breaking or throwing items, it is a sign of abuse. Abusers often break or throw items and then become physically violent towards their victim.

Sign 5
Does he apologize for trivial things or meaningless arguments? A man who constantly apologizes only wants to minimize the situation to make his victim feel guilty.

Sign 6
Are you constantly judged on your ability to be perfect in every way? No one is perfect; however, abusers expect perfection and will often put you down, lowering your self esteem.

Sign 7
Does he make you feel isolated from your friends and family? Abusers control their victims ability to see or talk to friends and family members. The abuser removes any support system or way for the victim to get help.

Sign 8
Does he talk to friends and family about embarrassing moments you’ve had? Does he try to bring down your self confidence? Abusers make jokes, tell embarrassing stories and make negative remarks to friends and family to make you feel worthless. He may even put you down when in private to bring down your own self worth.

Sign 9
Does he instruct you how, what, where and when to do something? Often, these demands will be sexual in nature and can be psychologically damaging.

Sign 10
Use of drugs or alcohol by the abuser is a sign of self abuse. Often abusers will use peer pressure or force to make their victim do the same.

Sign 11
Has he ever told you that he will hurt himself if you leave him? Abusers will manipulate their victim into staying with them by making you the victim. He may make you feel guilty about leaving.

Sign 12
Is he happy one minute and angry the next? This disorder is a “Jeckle-and-Hyde” personality. It is a sign of a personality disorder and is most commonly found in abusive people.

Sign 13
Are you constantly put down? Abusers love to place negative thoughts into the victim’s mind by putting the victim down. The negativity makes the victim feel inadequate and lose pride in themselves.


When To Get Help

Seek help if any sign above is recognized in a relationship. Leave the relationship before it becomes worse. Get help from friends and family members. Call the police if the abuse has already begun.

Below are informative sites on abuse. They can assist you in getting help if you find yourself in one or more of the situations mentioned in this article.

Health Center UC Santa Cruz; Sexual Assault and Dating Violence [http://healthcenter.ucsc.edu/shop/sadv/dv.shtml]

Girls Health; Safety [http://www.girlshealth.gov/safety/saferelationships/index.cfm]

Womens Health; Violence Against Women [http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/signs/]

Office of the Indiana Attorney General; Teen Dating Violence: Warning Signs [http://www.in.gov/attorneygeneral/2617.htm]

Recovery Man; Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships [http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm]