How to Land a Job

In these current times of economic struggle everybody and their mothers are literally fighting for jobs. Jobs are few and far between and they disappear sometimes the same day they are placed in the newspaper or online. Even the infamously degrading “burger flipper” jobs are going like hot cakes because people are no longer turning their noses up at them. Everyone needs to pay bills so every needs to work. That is why it is extremely important that you have an advantage over the hundred other people who are applying for the same jobs as you. In order to be succesful in being chosen over many other applicants, you need to implement the 5S job search and conquer strategy. This strategy is 90% effective in landing you a gig even with stiff competition.

1. Seek: The first step in getting a job is to seek one. The job fairy is definitely not going to knock on your door and request to hire you. You have to be proactive and proactive means much more than just looking in the newspaper and applying. You also have to look online, ask friends for suggestions, and scour the neighborhood for opportunities within smaller companies that may not have placed a public ad. The more you scour the more your chances will be increased.

2. State: You must state your business and state it well. This means typing up a professional looking resume that almost reeks of qualifications and talents. Do not overdo it by exaggerating , but paint a nice pretty picture that makes your potential employer want to look at your resume twice: once to read it and once to retrieve your number to call you in for an interview.

3. Stalk. Yes, in terms of landing a job, stalking is good. Once you have turned in your resume the stalking can begin. Call the potential employer up and ask them if they have received your resume. If they say they have received your resume, call them back the next day and ask if they have made any decisions as to whom they will be interviewing. Let them know that you are very interested in the job. If they say they will call you if they are interested then you should again tell them you are very interested in the job. Repeat up to three times.

The stalking must continue on after your interview. What you are trying to do is engrave your name into the skulls of your potential employers. The best way to get your name stuck in their heads is to keep repeating it to them via phone or e-mail stalk. This really works so do not skip this step.

4. Stun: First impressions are the most important so stunning your interviewer is of the utmost importance. Go to your interview with business attire, shined shoes, and modest plain jewelry. Look clean and presentable with no visible piercings or tattoos. Speak eloquently and look directly at the interviewer when answering questions.

5. Smile: Last but not least, smile. Potential employers want to see your teeth! They not only want to know that you are happy about having the opportunity to work for them, but they also want to know that you are going to make their customers smile too. Smiling is contagious so if you do a lot of it they will assume you will bring a lot of it. Also, flashing a pretty smile leaves a lasting impression (see engrave into skull of potential employer) so you will be less likely to be forgotten when the next interview comes in.

Just try these five things on your next job hunt and it will be almost 100% guaranteed that you will end up with a job. Good luck.