Dating has changed throughout the years and some things that once seemed like taboo is now more acceptable. A few examples of this would be casual sex, dating a number of people at one time, and even small to large age gaps. Though casual sex is more accepted now than it once was, and though strongly opposed my religious groups as well as dating a number of people the age gap seems to get more fuss than anything.
Older men date younger women and older women are dating younger men. The term used to describe an older woman who dates a younger man is a Cougar. Which is represented as a predatory name. Older men who date older women have been called a Wolf which is another predatory name or a dirty old man, even a pervert.
This alone brings up another question. Is a Cougar more acceptable than a “dirty old man.” After reading online and asking friends majority of people find that a Cougar is actually more acceptable. Why? As put by a friend; ” A woman isn’t looked upon as someone to really hurt a younger guy. With a guy being older and a younger female it’s iffy at a younger age and she is more likely to be used.” A family member said; “Most people look at it as a man shouldn’t go after the younger girls due to the image pedophiles have given men.” Another friend thought; “..society feels younger women dating older men is more acceptable than Cougars. Usually the assumption is that women find older men more desirable than younger because of men being less mature.” Others online and in forums agree that being a Cougar is more acceptable. Though many agree the older the woman and the younger the man does make it more “creepy.”
So why are older men who date younger girls looked down upon? For one, it is because of the image of being a pervert. Men are known for being more sexual so that is the first thought when an older man is seen with a younger girl. That and a lot of young girls nowadays do dress that way to come off as sleazy so that alone doesn’t help. But there are other thoughts that are automatically assumed with these types of relationships as well. That the man has a daddy complex and is controlling and wants a younger girl to “take care of” in a sense. Or that it makes them feel younger, sort of an ego boost. Also, others assume that the man is not able to relate to women his own age and therefore emotionally unhealthy and is going to hurt the young lady. Or it is just seen as “gross.” These assumptions in some cases on both parts, not just the male part, may be true. A lot of women find that dating a younger man makes them feel beautiful and wanted again. And a lot of men will agree is does make them feel younger because they have amazing energy and bring a new experience to their lives.
Why are the older men and woman seen as predatory when there are in fact many younger men and women searching or chasing someone older than themselves? A lot of younger men find Cougars exciting, intelligent, sexy. Older women know what they want sexually and are able to support themselves and are more stable. Are there men who date older woman or have sex with them just for the experience? Yes, just like there are older women who use younger men the same way. One reason young women are interested in and older man is because most girls mature faster than guys, not all but most. This being the case, some women find that men their age are immature and just not what they are looking for. Some, again not all, older men are more mature and experienced. Older men have more traits women like, like being more stable, more confidence. Plus, the older men get the more handsome they seem to get. Again there are some who use one another. But that goes with any age group.
As long as there is love involved in these types of relationships age really shouldn’t matter. There are a lot of couples who are happy and have a large age difference. I know a couple who are 30 years apart and have been married for over 18 years and are still completely happy. My aunt and uncle are 10 years apart and again completely happy. And my boyfriend and I are 15 years apart and been together over a year and still happy. It depends on the people.
Are there setbacks to dating older people? Yes, there is. Just remember if there is a large age gap say 15 years, why you are 40 and he is 55 is he/she going to attractive to you as they were when they are younger? Will the wrinkles, age spots, weight gain, and parts of the body that gravity has take hold off seem as attractive then? If you truly love them they should be but something could change. Say you are 25 and she/he is in their 30’s near 40 and you are ready to start a family, are they going to want to by then? There are a lot of things you should consider before dating someone much older than you.
But as said before society seems the need to judge everything and though some of the bad relationships and images societies have given to each sex has made these relationships look scandalous and bad not all of them are. It depends on the people and the intents and more importantly love.