I resisted it as long as I could. I always insisted on the simplest cell phone they had every time it was time to trade up. The salesperson would insist that I needed a Smartphone or one with a flip out keyboard, internet, text, GPS, and 4G whatever the heck that is. But my motto was always I just want a phone with numbers. Of course this would bring that look like I had just thawed out of a block of ice somewhere and had come in there looking for a good woolly mammoth spear. How could I not want all these handy dandy gadgets and the extra fees that went along with them?
Well of course resistance is indeed futile and I finally gave in with my last phone and got the fanciest droid they had because I wanted to be able to check my email on the toilet or sitting at the red light like any civilized human should be able to do in the 21st century. Plus I was tired of that awkward moment in public like say in a waiting room or on an elevator when everyone around you is fiddling around with their cell phone lest they might actually have to make small talk or exchange pleasantries or, gasp — make eye contact! Yes I had truly become uncivilized just like that Cro-Magnon in the ice block and hadn’t even realized it.
Soon after that, like the next day, I had become incurably addicted to all the conveniences and features my new gadget offered. If I got lost it could tell me where to go, if I was hungry it could tell me where to eat, remind me when I had a dentist appointment, find new things to buy I never knew I needed heck it was almost like having my wife with me all day long ! Just kidding honey there is no replacement for you.
But seriously I’m getting off the subject, how did we ever exist without these miracle devices, how did I ever make it through the 80s and 90s with no cell phone? Well for one thing we were able to go somewhere without constantly being bombarded with calls from coworkers, friends, and distant relatives. If anything happened while you were say on the lake fishing it’d just have to wait till you got back. And strangers who found themselves in close proximity to one another would actually strike a pleasant conversation and maybe even make a new friend or learn something interesting. Husbands and wives could go on a date without feeling the constant need to call home and check on the little ones. We would actually sit down and have conversations occasionally. And people actually sometimes gave the task of driving a car their full attention, imagine that what a waste of time when you could be checking your Facebook status. Thank goodness those days are gone how did we ever survive without them?