When you’re dating a guy but not yet an official couple, things can feel in limbo and make you unsure of how you should act toward him. You may be jumping out of your skin in anticipation of when the two of you are going to take the next step, but you’ll have to keep it to yourself and show a calm and cool exterior. Things are in a delicate place and the more you annoy and push him the less likely it is that you’re going to end up a couple. Certain actions can jeopardize your potential relationship, so if you want to keep your guy and be officially together with him, steer clear of the actions that can make him want to run the other way.
You Keep Trying to Act Like a Couple
Acting like a couple doesn’t actually make you one, nor does trying to force it upon him. You may be dating, but avoid initiating PDAs as much as possible. Typical couple PDAs include holding hands, kissing and touching in some way, not necessarily all the time, but considering you’re not officially a couple, you may want to hold off on it all-together. Trying these actions might make him think you’re trying to give the impression to everyone around you that the two of you are a couple. Also, never, ever, call yourself his girlfriend – if someone asks you if the two of you are a couple and the subject wasn’t discussed about how to actually answer this question, try to dodge it. Giving the two of you a title when you don’t actually have one can freak him out and ruin your potential relationship.
You’re Nagging Him About What the Two of You Are
The truth is, you’re not his girlfriend and the more you push him to have that title, the more he’s going to push you away. Don’t keep asking him when or if it’s going to happen because the more you ask, the more likely it is that he’s going to stubbornly tell you he doesn’t know or cut ties with you all together out of aggravation.
You’re Too Jealous
One of the worst ways to ruin a potential relationship is by trying to put restrictions on someone when you really can’t. Unless the two of you have actually decided that you’re completely exclusive, you can be jealous but don’t have any right or reason to verbally express that to him. Watch your body language – the facial expressions and body actions can be more telling than anything you say. When I was dating a guy in the past who I wasn’t exclusive with and he did something I got jealous about, I bit my tongue hard when he asked me if I was upset and I said, “I’m not happy about it but I have no right to say anything considering I’m not your girlfriend but it also works both ways.” In that one sentence I told him I cared about him and have feelings for him but that I’m not a jealous and raving lunatic. It also told him that I can do my own thing as well and he can’t say anything about it until we’re actually exclusive.
You’re Dating Other Guys
Even though the two of you have no right to express jealously if you’re not exclusive, dating or being intimate with other guys can ruin the potential relationship. Flirting is one thing, but when you take it to the next level, it’s a completely different story. Don’t risk something you really want on guys you don’t have as much interest in. If you haven’t already, have a talk with him about whether or not the two of you are exclusive, but keep in mind that while you want to be exclusive, he may not be ready – in situations like this it’s sometimes purely personal preference. This is where you need to make a decision about how comfortable you are with that situation and if you want to walk away or stick it out. If it were me, and a guy isn’t being exclusive but I am, he can take a hike.
I’ve mentioned “exclusivity” several times so far – this stage means that you’re not just friends or friends with benefits but you’re not in a relationship either. Consider it the limbo stage. I’ve been there – I know how frustrating it is. Be patient and know that you have more of a chance of a relationship happening if you give it time to let it develop instead of trying to force it. Keep in mind, though, that it’s also vital to be on the same page and agree on where you stand – without it, the situation can get a whole lot more complicated.