You’ve been hanging out with a guy, sharing your secrets, pampering him, bragging about him to all your friends and then BAM! He changes his Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship” and your name does not follow the “with”. You are mad. You might yell at him or never speak to him again. Your feelings are hurt, and you feel like a fool. This scenario plays out daily on college and university campuses. Why? Because women, girls, and ladies make assumptions. They assume the guy wants more than just fun. They assume the guy is only paying special attention to them. They assume he is about to pop the question. The truth is, if he doesn’t say it, then it isn’t happening. How can you not be that girl?
Assume you are “just kickin’ it” and act accordingly
When it comes to men, this is the only assumption you should be making. Yes, he was on the phone with you all night, but he might have been on the phone with someone else all day. Maybe you are fun to talk to, but the girl in his biology class is just special. He could even be talking to you just because you are available. So no matter how much time you spend with him, or laughs you share, treat him like a friend. If you wouldn’t let a friend kiss you, you shouldn’t let the guy you are “just kickin’ it” with kiss you. Accept the fact that you may not be the only one he is getting to know. You are also free to get to know other guys. How do you know when you two aren’t just kicking it? You have to ask him or wait for him to tell you.
Don’t be shy about asking him if you two are going steady
A guy that is really interested in you won’t run for the hills when you ask; he will respect you more. You are letting him know that you genuinely like him, and want to know if your time in him is being invested wisely. You are not asking him to be your boyfriend. The girls that don’t find out if he is seeing other people are the girls that get surprised later by that Facebook status update. Be ready to accept his answer. He may not be seeing anyone else, but is not quite ready to give away his freedom to do so. He could be seeing fifteen other girls, but doesn’t mind seeing just you. Remember that you are finding out where you stand with him now, so that you won’t have hurt feeling later. So accept his answer and do what you have to do. You can decide to leave him alone if his answer isn’t what you wanted.
Read Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey
This book will help you keep the “girlfriend” title if you make it that far. It will also get you ready for losing the title and starting back at stage one: the just kicking it stage. The book will tell you a bit about how men think, and empower you and your standards. Steve Harvey delivers a reality check that will change your life. Yes, it will change your life, not just your relationships; you probably don’t have it as together as you think you do.