Fingernail Management Crisis in America

Let’s have a little talk about fingernails.

We all have them and we all know they need cleaned and trimmed. My uncle “Dunk” used to check our hands and fingernails every time we walked into his house when we were kids. If we failed to pass the muster, Uncle Dunk quickly directed us to a nearby bathroom to wash our hands and clean our fingernails. Seemed silly as a kid, but what Uncle Dunk was teaching us was that we need to take care of ourselves and keep our hands and fingernails clean'”always.

That lesson is really simple and'”you’d think'”a matter of common sense. Unfortunately, the principle seems to be lost on many people these days. Disgusting, filthy fingernails are an eye sore. They are right under your eyes every day, so take a look at them.

The cashier at my favorite restaurant has yellow, thick fingernails. It’s probably some type of nail fungus that needs medicine to cure (or a late night infomercial to awaken a sleeping public to the crisis), but if she never talks to her physician about it, it will never change. It’s a disgusting eyesore to see every single time I pay my bill there and I can’t help but be thankful that she doesn’t work in the kitchen.

My niece is a receptionist at a dental office in Southern Illinois. Just today, she stepped away from her desk to consult with a patient and when she returned, another patient had just finished trimming his fingernails at her desk. Little nail clippings were scattered everywhere across the front of her desk like confetti, floating in her coffee cup, ingenuiously stuck inbetween the keys of her computer keyboard.

Now, that’s just disgusting.

Where do people get off thinking this is an acceptable behavior?

If this patient had no thought about what he was doing, do you think he would appreciate someone else doing exactly the same thing at the place where he works all day long? Did he possibly think the nail clippings would magically disappear into the air as he clipped away?

My mother taught me how to trim my fingernails when I was a small child. That lesson seems to be lost on many people these days. It would be a colossal shame to add it as a required course in elementary school, but there are countless service employees that would probably be grateful. And, surely, we do not need a federal czar to combat the War Against Public Fingernail Trimming.

Here are some helpful hints on managing fingernail growth:

  • Your fingernails grow a little bit every single day. They do not miraculously become long.
  • Trimming your fingernails is easiest and less offensive to everyone else on the planet if you do it in your bathroom before or after a bath/shower.
  • If you trim your fingernails outside of your own home, do it outside where cleanup is less of an issue.
  • Don’t think'”for even a moment'”that I’m not going to notice that you trimmed your nails at my desk or that I mind cleaning up after you.

There. That wasn’t too difficult. Let’s hope the offenders in this world print this article and carry it around in the wallet until the lesson sinks in. Somehow, I doubt they will.