February 18th

It’s rainy, gloomy, windy and desolate. I look out a terminal window at San Francisco Int’l airport, feeling similar. It’s funny how the weather has a way of uncovering those inert feelings within, bringing them to life. I wonder, what makes happiness? If I can experience the weather today, and have its attributes transposed onto me, where does it come from? If something as uncontrollable and naturally occurring as the weather can alter a mood, what might we be able to do with our own minds? I feel sometimes we create our own Heaven, and our own Hell, here on Earth. For now, I let the weather dictate my mood, which is somber. Just 36 hours ago I was boarding a 6AM flight from La Guardia in New York, making my way to the west coast, full of hope and optimism. This hope, this optimism, it came from a feeling within that was awakened when the opportunity to interview with ______ was presented to me. A simple opportunity, with no guarantees, was able to provide me with joy. This joy was created within, by my own mind, which saw what fruits this opportunity might bear. We consciously create and dissolve worlds every day. We create our state of mind from within, based on external realities, but what is reality? The retina takes in refracted light which reflects off objects, giving them color and form, which our mind is constantly and continuously creating. Quantum physics is a scary proposition and this is because it violates everything we experience to be reality.

In New York, I left my job as an Account Executive, selling unique media ad space on college campuses to Fortune 500 companies. Why did I leave? I began to create my own Hell, and was consumed by it each day in my job. I was successful, and at face value, one might take me as a spoiled fool who left a profitable position in the world of work on a whim. We, as a society, tend to judge others who go against the grain of what is acceptable and normal, but isn’t it these same rule-breakers who develop innovative ways to move forward? Without risk, what is life? Each day, when we get up out of our beds and begin to walk, we take a risk. Every action performed comes with risk, although we don’t consciously perceive this risk because the majority of all risk taken is so minuscule. The insignificant risks we take each day we go off to work and partake in our daily routine are so overlooked that when someone takes a risk with potentially significant consequences, society shutters. What will you do? They say. How will you find more work? We create this bleak situation ourselves, condemning our own non-conformity. The fact of the matter remains, each day I wait on a platform for the subway, I could fall in front of the train and lose my life. This is a risk overlooked because public transportation is essential to city life. If I quit my job to explore new opportunities, I may not find one. Why is this risk greater than the former? What is supposed to happen in life will happen, what is not supposed to happen will not happen, so why worry? This blessed knowledge that has been bestowed upon me is priceless and forever valid, for the entirety of my life. I once heard a song that proclaimed, “Dare to live.” This has stuck with me ever since. Yes, I will dare to live. I will take that risk, and I will make sacrifices in order to grow. I will focus on the beautiful reward that is synonymous with the risk I take, with failure not being an option. When you build this winning attitude, you build internal joy. What else brings internal happiness? I can tell you, no feeling arises within quite like that which occurs after doing selfless service for another. Live your life, doing more for others than you do for yourself, and you will experience bliss.

Back in New York, my 2 bedroom apartment in Queens sits empty, awaiting my return. What beautiful selfless service my material possessions perform, as they lay wait for my return, remaining inactive in between my departure and return. Upon my return they will turn on as if I never left, and will work as if they had been used the day before. A sink that produces water from its spout has no knowledge of who drinks from it, or who it is benefiting. It is only performing selfless service to the individual performing action on it. The sink knows not whether the individual being served is a criminal or a divine saint. It just does its duty, which is to provide water to the user. I aim to do the same, providing selfless service to my fellow human beings, whether it is through mentoring, teaching, or any donation of my capabilities. A simple smile to a stranger can light the path on which they walk for an entire day.

Jet lag is starting to set in. I’m not looking forward to sitting in a middle seat on this red-eye flight in which I will want to rest my weary eyes. A quick layover in Philadelphia is what waits for me next, before my arrival back at La Guardia around 9AM local time. I wonder when Monday rolls around, what will I find out of my fate? Will I be moving to California in the coming weeks, or will I be sinking my tail between my legs, creating a new Hell that will exist within the rejection that my mind will reverberate throughout my entire being? Either way, I will accept what I am given, knowing that I am receiving what I need. I, like you, once was controlled by my surroundings, by what is proclaimed to be correct and incorrect by my peers, and the society in which we dwell. I do not condemn my ignorance; I embrace it as part of my life, which was necessary to experience in order to be where I am today. I have faith in the future, and I have love for the World.

One day as a child, I remember playing in the snow, in the yard behind my apartment complex in rural upstate New York. The feeling of freedom, the feeling that anything is possible existed within me. It wasn’t until I took the courage needed to quit my job, and performed that action, that I felt the same. I do not seek the rush, or the thrill, I seek the happiness I had in my heart as a child, before worldly life was placed in my palms, or rather, shackled to my wrists. It is apparent to me that this life is unique, and while I do not proclaim to be all-knowing, I do believe in eternity and the everlasting. My body is comprised of the same material in which the Earth is. How then am I different from the land on which I inhabit? There is a certain connectivity of all things, a flow of energy within all things that is united on such a subtle level, a subtle level science attempts to uncover and explain. I do not believe it is possible for science to ever measure Absolute reality, because science is nothing more than a branch of this Absolute reality. How can that which is an infinitesimal piece of a whole ever understand the structure, form and purpose of the whole? We operate as one arm of an infinite-armed vehicle that is Absolute reality, just as the risks we take, the objects we interact with, and all other living creatures. Even when taking all things into consideration that we have experienced, the entirety of all collective experience in this world can be nothing more than a fleck of sand on an endless stretch of beach. Knowing this, how can one not follow its heart? I’m paraphrasing here – How can one not dare to live, and give its self to others, even when it seems there’s nothing more left to give?

The moment you live in, right now, is the culmination of all your life experiences. The butterfly effect represents for us what a tiny change can do to the whole of our civilization. Understanding this concept, how unique are our lives? So unique, that without each and every experience before this moment, we could be doing something totally different, living somewhere we’ve never been. I believe life is like a puzzle, where each piece is adjoined to the next in a specific order. This order is concluded by a completed puzzle, which may or may not come to fruition in this life. My point is, we experience life at a certain frequency, just as a radio plays music based on the frequency you set it to, whether or not is has a corresponding radio station broadcasting at that frequency. We don’t know what can be experienced at a different frequency, either because we do not seek it, or because we are not capable of this experience, in this life. Because of this, I dare you to live as I have decided to. Do what your heart tells you, and believe that you will get back what you give. Maybe I will not get the job I interviewed for today, and maybe I will. I trust the result given to me will be that which is necessary for me to proceed on my life’s path. Embrace positive and negative as one and the same, as they are. Positive and negative are just the opposite ends of the same thing, a feeling. The same goes for love and hate, and other dualities. We may perceive them as different, but they are the same, and they come from the same Absolute. Live your life.