“Feaming”

A demon in my head is creeping.
Dwelling in my brain seeking its way out.
Planting a seed in my mind.
Corrupting my nerves which are now petrified.
Some times I find myself screaming.
Cursing myself for being introduce to this addictive demon.
Which when awakened has me feaming.
Escalating on a whole other level beaming.
I am under control, and no longer am I free.
Being detoured from pursuing my own destiny.
Omg, this feeling I feel inside of me.
Why doesn’t this drug just let me be?
My thoughts get impaired and I can no longer see.
The story gets distorted and is now just a memory.
Some how I loose myself in another vision.
But only that vision is going on a mission.
The mission that has me imprisoned.
And from this there is no mistaken.
The demon in my head has awaken.
I try to fight it but my whole body is shaking.
And when that happens it’s only me that I am hating.
For using in the first place I am regretting.
The drug is attacking my body and mind.
It’s strong that not even from myself I can not hide.
It feels like I am fighting a losing war.
I’m getting obliterated and I can’t keep it up much more.
Omg how so much it hurts.
But it’s not painful, It’s a whole lot worse.
Because it’s attacking my mind, body, and soul.
And I am weakened by it and lose control.
Only the control is more like a strong hold.
I’m trying to fight it but it’s just to much.
My mind overwhelms me and I just want to feel that rush.
Get high blazed and feel that touch.
Sky rocket and forget about much.
Try to forget about every thing as it goes up in dust.
Then it’s like don’t do it, it’s what I tell myself.
Then the little voices in my head are like,”fuck it lets go to hell,
all is lost anyways.” Oh well!
Stop! No. I can’t, I must not.
I got to break free from its hold on me.
And be strong to escape this whole trickery.
And finally put to rest this whole mystery.
But I know better.
I am feaming as I write this letter.
It’s hard to concentrate.
When some thing is distorting you and then you can’t relate.
And then is like oops, before you know it, it’s a little to late.
The call has been made and the guy is on his way.
I lose the battle yet again for another day.
and when it’s all over I am left beaming.
Hating myself from the inside screaming.
Cursing the world for being curse with this demon.
That is what happens when this demon has me feaming.