Congressman Anthony Weiner Jokes

Anthony Weiner’s favorite song as a child-“I Wish I were An Oscar Mayer Wiener”

Anthony Weiner’s favorite song as an adult “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga

Anthony Weiner’s Hobbies

Photography, very personal photography

Facebook

Meeting young ladies on Twitter

Attending the Brett Favre school of sexting

Making believe he really is a Democratic Congressman from New York so he can pick up women

Anthony Weiner’s Favorite Movies

Liar, Liar starring Jim Carry

Lying

Unfaithful

Fatal Attraction

Random Hearts

Indecent Proposal

Anthony Weiner’s Favorite Books

How To Pick Up Women

How To Pick Up Women Online

Brett Favre’s Ten Tips On Sexting and Getting Away With It

How To attract Women

Art of Seduction

Facebook for Congressional Dummies

Twitter for Congressional Dummies

How to Lie for Congressional Dummies

Anthony Weiner’s Favorite Food Brands

Oscar Mayer

Nathan’s

Hebrew National

Ballpark

Hormel

Eckrich

Sabrett

Vienna

And his very favorite — — — — wienerschnitzel

Anthony Weiner’s Pick Up Lines

Did you hear my speech last night?

Did You know I was a Congressman?

Did you see those pictures I sent you?

What are you Wearing?

— .. Did you hear my speech last night?

Anthony Weiner’s Words to live by

“I Didn’t Do It” directly from the Polar Express

“I am Tiger Woods”

“I’m taking my balls and glove and I’m going home right now”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

“I’ve worked for the people of my district for 13 years and in politics for 20 years and I hope they see fit to see this in the light that it is.” And if not, I am going home to the wife I cheated on

Favorite Weiner Jokes

“It turns out that one of the women Congressman Anthony Weiner was communicating with was a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the porn star said, ‘I don’t know.'” ‘”Conan O’Brien

“Congressman Weiner is in a lot of trouble since he tweeted those pictures. But good news for him, he just found out he’ll be allowed to keep his porn name … Anthony Weiner.” ‘”Conan O’Brien

“Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you’re going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice.” ‘”Jimmy Kimmel

“What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?” ‘”Jon Stewart

“51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it.” ‘”Conan O’Brien

“I don’t know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner was sending around pictures of him in his underpants and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big deal? Don’t men and women in Congress get to mail their packages for free?!” ‘”David Letterman

“This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he’s in, knock on the door…Now they send it right to your house.” ‘”Jay Leno

“Democrats don’t share our values. An elected official is tweeting dirty photos of himself to strange women who he never meets for sex? Come on! At least Republican Chris Lee was trying to get some action! Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing. Ensign, Vitter, even when it’s a gay scandal! They’re not tweeting love letters. They’re tearing up an airport bathroom until somebody calls the cops on them!” ‘”Stephen Colbert

“Weiner-gate is teaching me a few things..if a pic posted of my weener on web looks big: i posted it, if its small, my account was hacked ‘”David Spade

“Just my luck! On the same day I find out it’s bad to tweet dirty pictures, FedEx shows up w/ all that penis make-up I ordered!” ‘”Andy Richter

“Tough to know what Weiner was really thinking during his press conference because he was standing behind a podium.” ‘”Andy Borowitz

“Too bad Boehner won’t stand up for Weiner.” ‘”Jason Isbell

By now, Anthony Weiner went home because he needs a break from Congress. The dude has had a really bad week and the rest of the world is having fun with him. We need good leaders to lead our country through a bad economy and to prosperity. Congressman like Anthony Weiner are not the answer to our problems, they are part of the problem with government. Anthony Weiner, this is our way at poking a little fun at you because isn’t that what leading a country is about anyway?

Sources

Jason Isbell

Politcalhumor.com

Andy Borowitz

Andy Richter

David Spade

David Letterman

Conan O’Brien

Jon Stewart

Jimmy Kimmel

Stephen Colbert

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