The media would have us think that all the good men are taken or gay. This is not true. There are many good men out there — you’re just not dating them! Instead, you’re wasting your time on losers that treat you like something they stepped in. Below are some common mistakes women make in relationships that keep you from finding the man of your dreams.
1. You’re in a relationship with him, but he’s not in a relationship with you.
He’s cute, smart and funny and you think he has great boyfriend potential, but he says he is not ready for a relationship. You hang out, hook up, and you think things are going great, so you are sure he will change his mind. Wrong! He’s already told you his intentions and he is not likely to change them. The fact that you devote yourself to him anyway, makes you a “friend with benefits” in his eyes. Maya Angelou once said, “Listen when someone tells you who they are.”
2. He has cheated multiple times and you continue to take him back.
I won’t say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. However, I do believe that you teach people how to treat you. When a man disrespects you and you accept it, it sends the message to him that it’s okay. Men are almost like children — if you let them get away with misbehaving, they continue to misbehave.
3. You bite your tongue when he says or does something he doesn’t like because you don’t want to upset him.
Women want to be liked, and more importantly, we want to be loved, so we tolerate some things that we shouldn’t. This sometimes includes emotional or physical abuse. You deserve a man that treats you with kindness and respect and if your current partner can’t do it, someone else can. Anyone that truly cares about you will respect the fact that you have brains and are not afraid to speak your mind.
4. You look at every new guy you date as a potential husband.
In our excitement to find our prince, have kids, and live happily ever after, we sometimes accept frogs instead. We build men up, only to be disappointed when they don’t meet our great expectations. It’s okay to date and just wait and see what happens. If a relationship develops, that’s great. If not, that’s fine too. In her book, In the Meantime, Iyanla Vanzant suggests living your life as if you already know whom you are going to marry and when. This relieves the pressure and anxiety of finding a mate, allowing us to make better choices.