It was the last period of that dull and dry day. Our Arts and Crafts teacher, an old lady with useless ideas for crafts none of us would ever use in our life, had decided to call in sick halfway through the day and so hadn’t turned up for the class. And so we all sat there in the twenty by fifteen by fifteen feet classroom, a bunch of kids with nothing but mischief on our minds and no teacher to supervise our actions.
Rishant, one of the noisiest guys in the class, suddenly leaped onto his chair and announced, “Ladies and gentlemene, boys and girls of all ages-“
“Jerk.” Someone shouted from across the room, inviting a round of cheeky responses until Rohan shouted out, “Get to the point!”
Rishant nodded and cleared his throat dramatically, to which I rolled my eyes, and continued, “Welcome to the Annual Auction of X-E. From the girls of your dreams to the geeks, we bring them all to you.”
Hmm, interesting, I thought and turned myself around to give them my full attention. This was going to be fun.
Ayush, the dream-boy of our class, although I don’t find him that attractive, joined the hooligans and said, “The first slu… I mean, gem of the event, let me present to you the ever needy, Aishwarya.”
The comment was answered by a round of catcalls and laughs. I sighed at the vulgarity but continued to watch with hawk eyes as Aishwarya ‘graciously’ strutted over to stand next to Ayush and curtsied mockingly. I wasn’t surprised that she had volunteered to rip her dignity into shreds, because as far as I was concerned she didn’t have any dignity. Yeah, the girl had some serious issues.
Rishant shouted, “The bidding begins at one rupee. Do I hear anyone offering two?”
The rest was history. The guys around the ‘auctioneer’ erupted into raucous calls. Finally, Aishwarya was sold at ten rupees. I didn’t catch who had pretend bought her but she seemed pretty happy that she had at least managed to make it to the double digits. Like I said, serious issues.
“The next wonder of our auction, the charming Saloni,” shouted Rohan, who had a thing for her but who I was sure would never score on her dance card even if she broke up with her current boyfriend, Ayush.
Ayush scowled heavily at that announcement and they got into a verbal fight as he tried to take her off the board. But the dispute was resolved when Saloni volunteered to participate for the heck of some laugh.
This time the bid started off at ten rupees and crossed six digits as Ayush tried to outbid every guy who was pawing for his girl.
Finally, Saloni was ‘bought’ by her possessive boyfriend. She was smiling as she put an arm around his waist once she got away from the group. Who said high school was free of drama?
Just when I decided that it was time to return to my doodling and let the losers be, it became all the more interesting.
Rishant shouted, “Rohan next. Whoever bids the lowest gets the guy.”
I laughed out loud and joined as the class made a mockery of Rohan.
“One rupee.” Someone said.
“Fifty paise.” Said another.
“Okay, I will take him for free,” said Ayush and beckoned at his best friend to come over to him.
“Sold,” shrieked Rishant.
Guess who just figured out his actual worth?
On an attempt to stop being the butt of the jokes going around, Rohan ran across the room and snatched up a notebook from Siddhesh’s desk and shouted, “Who wants Siddhesh’s notes?”
Siddhesh, known for his crabbiness about his stuff, jumped out of his seat, where he had been sitting and studying all this while, and said, “Return them at once.”
“Catch me if you can,” said Rohan and the two ran around the room in circles much to my amusement and general catcalls until the school maid entered the room and announced, “I have complained to the principal that your class is making a lot of noise.”
Feeling smug, she left the classroom, where everyone remained frozen for three seconds before jumping over and around each other to get to their stuff as they hastily packed up their bags. Then they all raced out of the door.
I was amazed at the speed with which the class got rid of seventy five percent of its population. Maybe our country needs to learn a thing or two from this.