Do you go crazy every time you see your boyfriend write on another girls wall? Does it drive you nuts every time your girlfriend gets a new male Facebook friend? Here is a look at how Facebook could be affecting your relationship.
With the invention of Facebook, there are a lot of things to keep in mind in terms of relationships. For instance, it is important to not change your relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship” before talking to your partner first. Julie Spira, author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” says, “You shouldn’t rush your courtship by prematurely announcing you are in a relationship as it might scare the other person away”. This also goes for changing your relationship back to “single” once the relationship has ended. Be sure that the relationship is really over, and you and your significant other are not just having an argument.
How about those pictures you still have up of your ex? According to relationship expert and author of the book “The Right Relationship Can Happen”, Nancy Pina, it is a wise move to remove these photos as it may make your current boyfriend or girlfriend think that you are still not over your ex. By taking the photos down you are not saying that this time in your life was not significant, but that you have moved on.
For women, it can be frusturating waiting for your boyfriend to instant message you first, if at all. When this happens women may get feelings of neglect or start to worry that there is something wrong with the relationship. According to a Glamour article by Shirin Najafi titled “How Facebook, Twitter, and Gchat Can Ruin Your Relationship”, women must remember that if a man does not IM you every time he signs online it does not mean he is not interested. This is because men tend to be less chatty in general than women, so do not take it personally.
One mistake that many people make is posting every detail of their relationship onto their Facebook status. Dating expert David Wygant believes that overexposure is a killer in many relationships. And while everyone knows that details are told to close friends, it does not mean that your partner wants the whole world to know everything about your relationship.
Another affect of Facebook is that many people in new relationships may use Facebook as a way to getting to know their partners family and/or friends before meeting them in real life. However, it is vital to remember that just as there are boundaries in real life, there are boundaries online. Wait until a face-to-face encounter has occurred so that you know that your significant other is ready for family and friends meetings to occur.
And for the biggest threat that Facebook poses on your relationship, jealousy. In a study done by social psychologists from the University of Guelph in Canada it was found that instead of enhancing communication between romantic partners, Facebook actually led to partners going on jealous investigations. This would happen when one partner would perceive clues of potential infidelity and then go searching for more evidence. Not surprisingly, the investigation itself often led to even more jealousy. In terms of marriage, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers states that 20% of divorces cite Facebook as a reason for the failure of the marriage.
The verdict? Be very careful what you do and say when on Facebook. Limit your log-ons and when you are on do not stalk your significant others page. It may be tempting, but in the long run you may be helping your relationship.