I have been in a budgeting slump as of late. This past Friday was payday and of course I had everything laid out on my paper. I had planned to pay off two credit cards. The first being our last “small” credit card and the second being our first “bigger” card. As it turned out, I once again had on rose colored glasses and this was not going to be reasonable. We had quite a few extra expenses this month what with Easter and all. With spring upon us, new clothes for several of us were in order. It’s also our anniversary and we had planned a special date night. After setting aside cash for all these expenses we only had enough left to pay off the last small credit card. It devastated me. Not enough of course to not do the “extras” but all in all I was disappointed. I tried to look at the bright side. I had really been looking forward to doing a little shopping but not even that helped. After making our purchases we both were unhappy. It seemed spending that little bit of money had opened the door to our past. We began immediately talking about what we wanted to buy next and how we could work it out. We are never satisfied. It’s a vicious cycle with hubby and I. Instead of thinking about how we were going to tackle that next “bigger” card, we set our sights on buying things. It’s amazing how quick we were to revert back to our old ways. If we had had a credit card in our pockets I am convinced we would have used it. I guess deep down inside I knew all of our baggage was brewing up. Last night we talked it over. We figured out what was going on. I was ready to bail. This is the point in which I have always bailed on my budget. We have always gotten our small ones paid off and when it comes to the higher balances we just stop. It’s like the mountain is too high so we give up. After talking it over last night we decided that this is the line we have to cross. This is the hurdle we have to jump over. We have to prove to ourselves and each other that we can reach this debt goal and accomplish what we set out to do. We have only been at this for four months and most times I feel like I can handle it. These past few days have shown me that I clearly have more work to do. It is a constant to keep myself and hubby motivated and on the right track. The positive here is that we have recognized what needs to be done and will do it. I will not quit. I will not bail. I will do this. I have something to prove, if not only to myself but to my hubby as well. And so the budgeting saga continues….