Brothers and Sisters, Finding Solace Within Your Heart

Spending my last twenty five years in an environment where all you see is irrational behaviors, inconsistencies, mood changes, and other symptoms, you can’t help but think you have become part of an addiction or serious psychiatric condition that has steered your life too long without a health or wellness break. The thoughts of getting an mental evaluation never crosses your mind as you deny any emotional or substance abuse problems you might have incurred during your tenure as a correctional worker inside a dark and unfriendly prison. In addition to the chemical or physiological addictions, there are the habits of the job and the workplace you have dealt with for so many years frustrating your mind beyond normal limits and stressing you with great anxiety.

No doubt your mind is full with denial and resistance to any welcome any type of treatment to return your mind back to a more normal state it creates extreme indiscretions inside your mind that serves as a window of opportunity to take a look inside and recognize these symptoms as an eye opener for some type of relief or change in your life. Family and friends are often the first to notice this change but make the cardinal rule of what not to do and confront you with your alleged problems. Attempting to bring you out of this abyss of negativity and return your life back to the positivity of things, their attempts to help you backfire and push you into a deeper state of denial and resistance making some sorts of intervention ineffective. It has often been said by many who work among us that seeking help from an “outsider” is just as difficult to admit there is a problem. Seeking help from an assistance group such as AA or NA is frowned upon by the very same culture of those in uniform as their decree of self-control and control includes going to their brother and sisters in uniform to seek help as they are the only ones trusted enough to deal with the problem in a most confidential manner.

Recognizing you have always been a person who has demonstrated a great amount of will power and self-control, you avoid these thoughts for seeking “outside” treatment and continue your slippery slope lifestyle until you hit rock bottom and feel the pain you have caused yourself and those family and friends who care and love you and want you free from this stress and anxiety imposed by your job, your lifestyle and your self-determination to treat whatever is wrong with you in your own ways. Self-medication and alcohol are often used to substitute the pain and hollowness felt at times of loneliness and sorrow. Inside your heart you long for help but find yourself unable to ask someone for help as the danger to your inner sanctum becomes exponential in character and actions.

These matters become life threatening too many as they ignore the warning signs and keep on heading for that critical point in your life where you crash and fall apart, losing everything you have worked for and losing those who supported you for those many years you endured the job, the stress and the frustrations. It is time to seek a time and place of solace. Finding solace is like saying finding a place in your heart and mind with “peace.” It means coming to terms with your life and its happenings and finding a rational and logical level of comfort with focus on finding that moment or place that gives us peace. Seeking a way to return back to that state we call “normal” by doing those very things that makes us feel better about ourselves and those around us.

Most of the time, we seek solace after something tragic or critical has happened to us that awakens our heart and soul from its sleep or hibernation. It is rare that this need for peace occurs after a singular event but rather a chain of events that led to this “end of the road” feeling. Learning how to find this solace or peace for the present time and the future takes some serious reconciliation of thoughts and priorities. You need to set a new commitment to deal with emotions that are upsetting and difficult to deal with. You can turn to your significant other, your family or your trustworthy close friends who understand you and who will guide you with suggestions that can help you deal with this trauma in your life. It is important that you include other people in this part of your life as you need someone to love as they love you back.

Your mindset has to change from negative thinking to positivity as you make this change is a reflection of the past and guide you in your present and future behaviors learning from those things that caused you harm. Focusing on the more positive aspects of your life and those things that influenced that positivity should serve to you as a consolidation to remember the good times. Think about the future as you let go of the past. Last but by no means last, learn how to deal and face your emotions. It will not help your cause to seek solace in a place whether real or imaginary if you hide from those very same feelings that have impacted your life and come to terms what is happening and how you are going to trek this journey into a new journey in your life. Sometimes the answer to finding solace is admitting that what has happened is a normal part of your life and that you are not alone. Seeing others in the same situation provides enough comfort to talk about it.