Bin Laden; Kate and William All Bite the Bullet

I was browsing through web sites, taking a break from Free Cell, when I stumbled across a web site with my name on it, and it suddenly occurred to me that I have a blog; actually I have two blogs, and I’m supposed to be writing on them.

This came as a huge reality to me, much like Kate felt, when she woke up and said, “Holy shit, I’m the Queen of England.”

Ok, maybe mine was not as significant, but nonetheless, I felt an immediate pressure to write something. In my defense, I haven’t been writing much because I’m old, lazy and marginally talented, if that, but there is a lot to write about currently.

We finally got Bin Laden, although it took us 10 years to find a 6′ 5″ bearded, very distinctive looking guy wearing a towel. Of course, I was glad that we found him and shot him, but surely al Qaeda has a lot smarter, more devious people than him hanging around. Let’s face it, Osama was 108 years old and had been living on goat’s milk and tree leaves while living in caves ‘” how bright could he have been right now? Wait! News update; he was actually living in the burbs in an goofy looking house with giant red fences and a giant mailbox with his name on it. At any rate, his best days were far behind him, and trust me, I know what that feels like.

Of course, people around the world look at our leadership and probably wonder. We now have a President who is acting like a fool, and we just had a fool trying to act like a President , so I’m not sure how much bragging we should be doing. Thank God, we’ve got Joe Biden. (Yes, Mabel, I’m being sarcastic.)

And then there was the Royal wedding. Say what you will about the British, and they are a pasty faced, uptight bunch of prigs, but they do know how to put on a show. How many different uniforms do they have though? When I was in the army we had fatigues and khakis and that was it. Every guy on a horse had a different uniform on, but that might explain why we won the Revolutionary War and they keep getting bullied by France.

Several years ago, I thought William was about the studliest guy on the planet, and Kate was just a sort of cute skinny girl, but now, she is a babe, and he has started to look more like his dad and that has to be as scary as if you were Pee Wee Herman’s kid.

He is also going bald at an alarming rate, but the best looking men in the world are bald, so that’s not so bad.

On the home front, I’m still without a girlfriend, which is surprising, seeing as the high demand is for old, bald paunchy men who are smart asses with bad attitudes. It’s almost like Eskimos won’t buy ice cubes, but such it life.

I do vow though, that I will get motivated and do more writing on my site. I think I need to think more like Tweets than full scale columns, because, often less is better, and I think the less of me you read, the better you might like me. Women I have dated have certainly developed that attitude, so there must be something to it.