It’s absolutely amazing how not fun most Karaoke bars can be. That being said something about Martini’s stood out. Although it would most likely have to be that particular night I spent there – and all of the memories I have with the place, there is no doubt that it is the best Karaoke Bar in San Antonio, Texas.
The best part of the whole thing is not having to drive to Austin to have fun. The worst part of the whole thing is having to wear an outfit of a Parrot. I went on parrot night and everyone was dressed like a parrot. If that wasn’t bizarre enough Stewie Griffin was there! I know I might sound a little crazy, but I swear Stewie Griffin was at that Karaoke bar.
Inevitably with the sweat pouring off our foreheads into strangers glasses, the fun can be had just knowing what strangers don’t as they drink their cosmos unsuspectingly. Then comes the time everyone is waiting for – open mic time.
A gentlemen trying to sell terrible knives takes the microphone first and shows us a demonstration of Bagel cutting. Apparently bagels are the worst breakfast item in terms of accidentally injuries in the morning. Many individuals put their finger through the bagel hole before trying to cut the bagel. They do this because its early in the morning, they are tired, and as this gentlemen suspects – they don’t have sharp enough knives. The gentleman goes on to explain with dull knives, the injuries are extremely painful. If people start using his ultra sharp bone splicing knives, in the event you chop off any phalanges, the good news is that they will be removed in a nice even motion.
So in the long run the reality is I simply wrote this review for the same reason rich greedy fat old white people start non profit charity organisations. The truth is this event took place somewhere in the depths of non-ascorbic fatty tissues folded over each other – hopping back and forth along the cerebral cortex express way to bull Bologna and red cheese.
Before you know it I realise I’m not at a karaoke bar, I’m next door at an advertisement place! I get paid five dollars to have listened to the silly presentation, I walk next door, and I see an Asian lady take the microphone. I suspect this is going to be some good turds floating around the atmosphere of this bad breath mongrel, but I hold my breath not because of the stench but because she’s about to actually sing. The poor and completely inharmonious cacophony of noise that escaped blew out my ear drums. I am deaf – as are the other three people in attendance that night