Being a single parent can be very trying, but it can also be very rewarding. Having kids is the best thing I ever did and I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I have made my children my life, but I can’t say the same for their dad. Having a father that is not involved in your children’s lives can be devastating to the children. The kids don’t understand why he doesn’t care enough to be involved. The important thing as a mother is to reassure your children that they are important and just because their dad isn’t involved doesn’t make them not loved. It is the father’s loss, but it is also the children’s loss. A father should want to be with his kids and not think that because he sends money every month then he is doing what he needs to do. Having kids is not about the money, and I would rather my kids father not send me anything and that way the kids and I owe him nothing. Mothers need to realize that they don’t need anything that the man has.
My children are all different on the feelings that they have about their dad. I have a five year old that absolutely adores his dad. His dad totally ignores him when he’s around and my little one can’t understand why. I don’t know how to explain to him what is happening. My middle daughter loves her dad and he does try to be involved with her, but I still would never ask him for help. My oldest daughter can not stand her dad because she is old enough to see what is happening. She realizes that the only time he comes around and wants to spend time with them is when he is drunk, she would rather he would just stay away. When kids have a father that thinks the world owes him something it is better that he just stays out of their lives.
Mothers should take care of their children and not expect child support from the father. If he cares about them then he will want to do things to help take care of them. I believe that child support should never be ordered by the courts. If he has to be forced to take care of his children then you are better off if he is not involved. As the children get older they begin to see who has been there for them and who hasn’t. Let the kids make up their own minds about their father, but you should never talk bad about him in front of the kids because that will make the kids resent you and feel like it is your fault that they don’t have a relationship with their dad.
When your children are older they will understand and they will love you more because of what you did for them. The best thing you can do is make sure that your kids know that they are the most important thing in your life and you are not doing things with them and for them because you are forced to, but because you love them and want to do it. The way you make your kids feel is important to their self-esteem so make sure you make them feel loved and wanted.