Atomic Clock Loses One Second Every 32 Billion Years

Frankly, I think that scientists are attacking the wrong problem.

They have ” taken a big step towards atomic timekeepers’ longstanding goal of a clock with a precision equivalent to one second of error every 32 billion years — longer than the age of the universe.”

The atomic timekeepers? I bet no one is late for their meetings.

But please do we really need a clock that accurate?

Many of us have trouble waking up and getting to work on time. We are proud if we are only five or ten minutes late. The last thing we need is a boss with an attitude and a real accurate atomic clock.

And aren’t there enough obsessive people in the world ? Why would we give them another thing to be obsessive about, like a clock that only loses a second every 32 billion years. And here is something to be obsessive about – how do you know that your clock is not losing three seconds every 32 billion years? Maybe the clock maker ripped you off. Think about that Mr. Obsessive.

And watch out , bad pun ahead – do you get to make time payments on the clock.?

And if the clock only loses a second every 32 billion years, how paranoid are you going to be when you reset it for daylight saving time. All it takes is one mess up.

Let’s face it , the proposed atomic clock will be accurate for 32 billion years. Yeah right – who’s going to be around to check it? To verify that it didn’t lose two seconds in 32 billion years.

Another thought , this clock is atomic. As in nuclear. Do you need a protective suit just to set the clock? Who wants that job?

Another concern, scientists estimate that the sun will burn out in about five billion years. So who needs a clock that is accurate for 32 billion years? It will be tough reading the clock in the dark.

Plus, how many times will you have to replace the battery?

Furthermore, when the sun does burn out, who will be around to replace the clock’s battery. Aha, Mr. Scientist, I bet you didn’t think about that !

But I said that scientists were attacking the wrong problem. The accuracy of the alarm clock is not the problem. My son sleeping through the alarm ringing is the problem. So if the scientists invent a teenager who does not hit the snooze button and springs out of bed right away, I will be impressed.

Hmm , can you set the snooze button on the atomic clock to go off in 32 billion years?

Now wasn’t this a timely discussion?

National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) (2011, May 14). New calculations on blackbody energy set the stage for clocks with unprecedented accuracy. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 16, 2011, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2011/05/110511162528.htm