We offer our advice on Blackberry-throwing, Facebook-stalking, over-texting, over-analyzing, or ANYTHING that’s making you feel like a CB. We were inspired by our readers to create this feature and believe their questions can help others.
I really need advice. First off. I think this blog is incredibly helpful, funny and informative. I love it. Hopefully you can give me some insight. I know I’ve been a bad CB.
In a nutshell, I have been going out with a guy and we got into a huge fight on Thursday night. I had been bottling up a lot of things (like how he doesn’t do enough for me). I went crazy. He went crazy. He told me that he couldn’t deal with me and that I have been too on and off during the past 8 months and that he realizes he doesn’t do enough for me but that it’s because he is busy and I’m too demanding. Then he went to BED. I lost it because I wanted to talk further. I know this is bad! But the more nuts I went the more he shut down. And then in turn it made me angrier so finally I said, “If you don’t want to talk about things, then you clearly don’t want to be in a relationship with me.” He replied, “I guess not. I don’t know.” I went a little nuts and stormed off. He tried stopping me, but I left. The next day I apologized, yet no response. Then I get a text that says that he needs time to think. Now I feel like I am just waiting to officially get broken up with.
Instead of sitting through a break up talk, I would rather write him all of my feelings (including regrets) and just see how he reacts. I think it’s painful for me to wait and have him tell me to my face that he wants nothing to do with me. I guess I am unsure if I can save this somehow or if it is beyond repair and he is just waiting to give me the bad news.
Any thoughts would be great. Thank you
First off, thank you for writing in. This is a situation many of us have and will be in. Simply put, you are waiting and waiting can be the hardest thing to do for any CB. Here is what you need to remember; in circumstances such as these doing absolutely nothing is the best approach. We know you want to call. We know you want to write a lengthy letter. We know you probably want to start writing your debut album entitled “Why I Went Bat Sh*t Nuts on You Thursday Night” and dedicate all of the songs to him. We know. But we also know that he does not want any of this. Again, simply put, he wants you to leave him the hell alone. You know how we know that; he told you. He said he needs “time to think.” This is the nice way of saying, “please leave me alone while I figure out if I still want to date you.” Whatever you do, whether it be calling, texting, sending a letter, any of these things, will only make matters worse, not better.
In situations like these, women want to talk all of it through and arrive at an immediate conclusion. However, men are different. And because they are different we have a hard time understanding why they don’t want to spend hours talking about the relationship. If you have the time, pick up Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. In it Dr. John Gray will tell you all about the “man cave” and how your man just needs some time and some space. The best thing you can do is take this time to think about what it is you really want. Don’t think of this as waiting for him to break up with you, think of it as the time you both need to independently figure out what you want. If you don’t feel he is giving you enough, maybe he’s not the right guy for you. Or maybe he’s great and you really are high maintenance. Either way, you need time to reevaluate the situation and that time will be better spent on self reflection than on obsessing over problems that may or may not even have solutions.
In conclusion, if you want to write a letter, write it. It will help. We just don’t recommend that you actually give it to him.
We hope this helps! Stay strong!
Go to www.dontbeacrazybitch.com/ask to send us your questions.