My name is Ares, Dog of War. Yes, that is my full title, my human has an odd sense of humor, although unwittingly he was quite accurate. I am a warrior, one of a handful of mans best friends, sworn to protect humanity from evils both real and imagined. And yes, I am a Pekingese. It was discovered over a thousand years ago that due to our position of trust with the Emperor of China, and our mystical origins, that Pekingese would be the leaders and front line warriors against the agents of darkness. Pekingese are the scion of the great lion, empowered by Buddha with powers and abilities that mere people cannot fathom. The dictionary describes Pekingese as stubborn yet loyal. Many people even assume we are dimwitted, due to our record setting stubborn streak. We are not dumb. We may play the fool, but behind these protruding eyeballs, we have the intellect of the human Einstein, perhaps even greater, although no Pekingese has ever attempted to further expound upon his theories. It is easier to play the fool, as it allows us greater movement, since no Pekingese could ever be thought of as conniving or sneaky.
My first memory as a knight came shortly after I was born. Knights are typically given their powers at birth, usually from their mother. My mother was Monkeyface, and among her many great deeds, she saved her owner from none other then Jack the ripper. Although technically it was the demon that possessed Jack, but since most mortals cannot comprehend demons and spirit beings, its easier to just refer to it as Jack. But I digress. As I was being weaned, my mother confided in me about our proud lineage, our powers, and our responsibilities. As a new warrior, I was overwhelmed with such knowledge, just as I was overwhelmed with the bouncy ball running around. My attention span has never been the greatest. As my weaning was nearing an end, she imbued me with my powers. Powers that cannot be discussed, but suffice it to say, they are incredible.
At three months, I was sent out to be discovered by my humans. Unbeknown to them, powers were put in place to summon them to me, and to veil me from others to ensure I was placed where I was destined to be. As I sensed them enter the store, I dropped my veil and performed the helpless runt routine. I was instantly adopted and carried to my post, prepared to begin my defense of mankind.
As I grew up, my knowledge and power began to grow. Things began to happen around me as accidents occurred, and I had to scramble to provide excuses to maintain my cover. My first mission was, well, memorable. Word reached me through the usual methods of a large cheese formed demon who was loose in the world. Yes, you read that correct. A cheese formed demon. As some may or may not know, typically demons or entities cannot enter a person without invitation. However certain drugs can allow them access to mortal people. And animals. Yes, the drugs given to animals to help them grow acts as a catalyst and a conduit of all types of entities. Not to mention they are bad for your general health.
I began my observation of the cheese demon at once. Precisely at midnight, every night, every fridge in the neighborhood would open, and the demon would summon pieces of itself together. See, when it possessed the cow, due to pasteurization, the demon was split many times. It had enough power to pull itself together at night, when all evil things are out, and began its plan to create a summoning portal to bring more of its kind into this world. Typically cheese demons are a pawful, but this one was quite new, and had not begin to mold yet. After a week of observation, after the demon had gathered its necessary components, I made my move. During the ritual, the demon was focused on gathering its power, and therefore at its weakest. I gathered my armor, and crept out of the house. Down the street I crept, nary a sound from my paw. I observed the demon in a field, a large almost comical looking monster made of cheese. Apparently it had Swiss cheese for the head, because it forgot to watch for interference. Drawing my sword, I muttered a word of power, sheathing it in a holy blue light. Head down, sword blazing I covered the ground in seconds, dirt flying beneath my mighty paws. Leaping, a woof of power I attacked, and was promptly knocked on my rear. My sword fell out of my mouth with my woof, alerting the demon to my presence.
Waddling quickly backwards, I prepared my defense, pulling my shield off my back and sliding it to my paw. The demon muttered a phrase, and well, green molded cheese flew towards me. Nimbly I lept to the side, tripping over my shield and face planting in the grass. I heard an evil chuckle, and over my shoulder the demon moved closer, glowing yellow with its moldy power. I was up cookie creek without a kibble. My weapon lay useless behind the demon, my shield to my left. All I had left was my inborn power, and my wits. We began circling each other, when it struck savagely at me. Lowering my head, I charged underneath the blast, sinking my teeth into its leg, and oh my. Oh my. The taste, the cheese blood of the demon, it entered my veins, creating a thirst, a desire, an inhuman desire for cheese.
As I stumbled, trying to shake the blissful sensation from my mouth the demon screamed. Of course! My saliva was magic, just as the rest of me was My bite inflicted my cleansing power through the demon. It turned, limping away, beginning to disperse and I knew I had to strike now. Leaping forward, I scooped my sword up, darting forwards, I ran it into the demon. Blue fire erupted from the demon as it began to die, its energies blowing up a transformer. I held on with all my power, watching it burn with a fire purer then any on this planet. A final flash lit up the night sky. As my vision cleared, one piece of cheese was loose, and running. I knew I had to stop it, else it could reform with enough time. Sacrificing my belly, I lunged after it, swallowing it whole.
Time slowed down as the demonic cheese flowed through my belly, and I floated along. Stumbling I headed home, as doors began to open, and people appeared talking about the blown transformer. I barely made it inside, woozy, as my humans woke up. Looking at me, they assumed I was frightened from the explosion. A gentle pat, and a “poor baby” later, I had curled up to sleep. This adventure, for now was complete.