Are You Living 3 Lives?

I believe we all live 3 lives. We have a home life, a work life, and a secret life. They all interact with each other, sometimes in a good way and other times not so much. Let’s look at them.

Home life: by definition it’s the manner in which a person conducts themselves at home. When you look at this you have to look at everything that is going on in your home. Many variables will influence how you behave. Some concerns may include, money, children (or lack there of), spouse (or lack there of) and a plethora of other influences. Each has a good consequences, no consequences, or bad consequences.

My home life always seemed to have many things going on at once. I always tried to keep a balance but there were many times when the scale tipped either way positive or way negative. Either money was tight, or we were graced with a few extravagances. Sometimes we just got by. Children were children good and bad days, normal days, just kids being kids. My wife and I had our hobbies, we had family night every Saturday night, and really tried to have a happy and loving home. Sure there were times it was great and other times you didn’t want to be there.

Work life: by definition is the manner in which a person conducts themselves at work. Once again many variables here too. Maybe you like your job, maybe you hate your job, maybe you just show up for work. Like the people you work with, hate the people you work with or just get along with the people you work with.

My work life was very rewarding, very stressful and many times filled with “they pay me for this?” I was a Database Designer for a major telecom, that was always called on for the highest profile projects, or called on when things really went wrong. I was called the terminator because of the respect of my peers. If I thought for one moment the company would be wasting a lot of time and money on a project, 9 times out of 10 I could get the plug pulled.

Secret life: there is no definition for so I like to think of it as a life we live that we don’t want anyone to know about. The possibilities are endless and ever changing.

All 3 lives interact together . Maybe your home life is affecting your work life. Could be the other way around. My work life I traveled 25% of the time so I wasn’t there for a few occasions that I should have been. Being on-call disrupted many planned out activities. Secret life and work life sometimes play well together since there is not much interaction between them. Secret life and home life can play well together (e.g. surprise party) or really can cause a mess, take for instance an affair. If you are the one that has been cheated on, you will feel like someone took your entire life, through it in a blender and hit puree.

For me, it was finding balance, knowing there would be good and bad, making changes when necessary and praying everything would work out in the end.