Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets — But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.
Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:
Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2): assertion that an allegation is false.
Many of you are probably asserting right now that my allegation that you are in denial is false. But allow me to give you another definition of denial from Debbie Ford’s book “Why Good People Do Bad Things”. A must read by the way —
“When the collective wounds of our past become to great for our human heart to bear, an internal switch flips on that sends us into denial”. “When the pain is more than we can handle, when we have no tools to deal with the trauma of a particular situation, we automatically kick into the denial mode”. “Denial is a brilliant function within the human psyche”. “In it’s highest function, denial serves us by protecting us from pain. Yet to our great detriment, it also blinds us from seeing our own destructive nature, which inevitably causes us more pain”.
Although denial can assist us with our pain, it can also turn us into our own worst enemy. So again I will challenge you to ask yourself the question “Are you in Denial?”. I believe that as parents, friends, family and individuals we are all at one time or another, in denial. We deny to acknowledge that life hasn’t exactly gone the way that we planned it, for fear that others will think less of us. We deny that our children have problems, in order to hide our fears of what people will think of us as parents. We deny ourselves the right to be vulnerable, because we fear that people will perceive us to be weak. We deny that our finances are a mess, because we fear that people will judge us. We deny that every once in awhile we need some help, because we fear that no one will be there to help us. We deny those closest to us the opportunity to love us, because our constant denials have denied us the time to love ourselves. And finally we deny ourselves the chance to be happy, to be proud, to feel confident and to be successful because it is easier to feel sorry for ourselves, than it is to become the person we are destined to be.
Denial can pretend to comfort you, when in reality it is an uncomfortable enemy. It is the one emotion that keeps us down when we should be getting up. It is the one emotion that pushes us away instead of pulling us forward. It is the one emotion that allows us to feel sorry for ourselves when we should be believing in ourselves. It is the one emotion that allows us to accept our negativity as acceptable, when in reality we should be positively denying it.
So again I challenge each and everyone of you again to ask yourself the question, “Am I in Denial?”. If you answered YES this time, then I challenge you to make a change right now. Challenge yourself to deny denial! Challenge yourself to be the authentic self you were destine to be and made to be. Get out of that bad relationship that is draining you, get out of that job that is holding you back, get out of that mind set that is telling you that you are no good. Get out your heart and accept that you are worthy of love again, but most importantly get out of your own way,by getting out of denial now. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be strong, you deserve to be proud of who you are, and you deserve to be loved more than anyone in this world. You deserve to deny denial once and for all —