Spring is having a hard time getting into its swing this year, with snow and cold still clutching hard at much of the country. Still, it IS time to turn the calendar on the first quarter, and that means that April is upon us. The world may be a lot different than it was a generation ago, but we’re all still fools for spring. Here, then, are some ideas for April Fool’s pranks, 2011 style! A word of warning: some of these may be hazardous to your happiness and well-being.
For Your Wife
YOU DO NOT PRANK YOUR WIFE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
For Your Boss
Do an “Undercover Employee” gig, where you dress up spiffy and present yourself as your boss’s boss, several rungs up the ladder. Take full advantage of your temporary power, and then watch the hilarity ensue once your cover is blown.
For Your Children
Tell them that the snowstorm is headed to your neighborhood, and that Friday is a snow day. Let them stay up late and skip their homework. Won’t they be surprised when you get them up tomorrow morning!
For Your Parents
Call them up and tell them that you’ve been thinking about it, and everything they’ve ever told you actually turned out to be right, and that you’re changing your ways. Wait a few hours and ride by their house on a bicycle, shirtless and helmetless, with your feet on the handlebars and your hands in the air. Bonus points for holding some scissors and dragging on a stogie.
For Your Friends
Gather them all at an expensive restaurant to celebrate some “exciting news,” and let them tie on the feed bag, on you. About halfway through, excuse yourself to go to the restroom, but head out to your car instead.
For Your Dog
Cat-scented air freshener.
For Brett Favre
Use your NFL contacts to let it be known that Aaron Rodgers feels he’s accomplished all he can with the Green Bay Packers, and that the Packers’ head cheeses are pining for a return of old Number 4.
For The Boston Red Sox
Make sure that all the prognosticators keep picking the SAWKS to win the World Series, and then text the truth to Theo Epstein on April 2: BoSux overrated … again!
If you’re single, change your Facebook romance status to “In a relationship” tonight and then enjoy the surprise in the morning. Be prepared for the crash of reality, though.
Do your taxes and pretend that your refund is “found” money.
Buy yourself some of that spray-on hair and cover your bald-spot with it. You’ll feel awesome until your scalp starts to crack and peel, and then you can laugh at yourself.