Answering Tough Questions from a PDD-NOS Child

My youngest son who is 6 has PDD-NOS. PDD-NOS is on the autism scale. Ultimately that means that my son has some problems that make him not quite like other children but he doesn’t have full blown autism either. My son is pretty smart, he excelled in Kindergarten but has behavioral problems at home and is very shy at school and will not make his needs known to other people.

If you have a PDD-NOS child, you know how hard it can be to raise a child with that diagnosis. Lately my son has been asking me questions that I haven’t always had an answer too because there are some questions that he asks that he needs me to answer differently then I would with a child that did not have PDD-NOS. This article will give you a few suggestions on how you can answer some of the questions your PDD-NOS child may ask you.

#1: Absent Parent

My children’s father for some reason that is unknown to me has decided to have nothing to do with my children which make him a complete absent father. If your child has an absent mother or parent, they may begin to question it at some point or another. My son actually questioned not having a dad around more then my other two children who are older then he is. My son started asking “Why don’t I have a dad?” My answer was that he did have a dad, everyone has a dad. That then led to the question “Where is he?” I explained as best I could that while everyone has a dad, not every dad stays with their children. Some parents don’t know how to be a good parent so they leave. I then went on to say that he was very lucky because he had a lot of people who loved him such as me, siblings, grandparents and great grandparents. You don’t want to go into information overload but you do want to give them some sort of answer. Honestly my son probably only really understand half of what I was saying but I didn’t want to just shove his questions off that he deserved to have answered.

#2: Why Won’t Kids Play with Me?

One of the most heartbreaking parts of being a parent is when a child won’t play with your son or daughter because they are different. When my son was in Kindergarten, most of the kids were pretty nice because that is a forgiving age but sometimes I noticed that a couple of the kids wouldn’t play with him or interact with him that often. If you’re having the same problem, take your child gently aside and say in words that are appropriate for their age that some children aren’t comfortable (or are scared) of someone who is different so they may not want to play with your child. If the other child in question isn’t being mean to your child, is just simply ignoring them you can tell your child that they can try to go play with them but if that doesn’t work, to just play with the kids that do play with them on a normal basis. Unfortunately this isn’t something you can fix easy. There will be children who will not want to play with your child. Just know that you are there for your child when they come across people like that.

#3: When Will I Become a Parent?

My son has become obsessed on when he will become a dad. Many times he’ll ask about out of the blue “When will I become a dad?” “Will I be a dad at 33?” Telling your child when they’ll be a parent is not something that anyone knows and I tell him so. I say that I’m not sure when he’ll be a dad and that he’ll become a dad when he meets someone he loves and gets married. Of course that may bring up more questions like “Who am I going to marry?” but take it one question at a time. I know in this day and age not everyone gets married first and then has a child but for the sake of telling my son but you don’t want to go off on an explanation that your child may not understand.

#4: Private Parts

It is only natural for a child to wonder what the other gender has in the way of private parts. Boys and girls know that they are different from each other. Talking about it to your child is one that makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Just ease into it. Don’t give your PDD-NOS child information overload but depending on their age, it is OK to use the proper names of private areas. You can say “Girls have a ____. That is where their peepee comes out.” If you want to take it a step further you can tell them that it is also where babies come out. How you handle it is entirely up to you and what you’re comfortable with. When my son started asking a lot of questions about it, I was surprised but I didn’t want him to think that his questions were wrong so I answered the best I could until he was satisfied.

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