An Easter NIghtmare for Retail

What is it about Easter that it is becoming mini Christmas to retail? Does anyone really need that many choices in colored eggs or Peeps?

Working in retail this Easter season- as always, the clientele were a colorful bunch, especially about 5 PM the night before Easter when everything in the seasonal aisle had sold out. Colored jellybeans and wicker baskets that had sat untouched for weeks were now strewn about everywhere, hands grabbing angrily at the same bag of cheap trinkets. My God where were the eggs to hide? What will we do without the eggs? Voices could be heard from aisles away as the terrible waling grew louder and louder. What would people do if they couldn’t have the most elaborate Easter celebration ever? Why were there no Easter dresses and little suits for church left on the racks that stood bare as scarecrows with skeletal branch like arms. What if Easter couldn’t be saved?

My coworkers and I hid the best we could for most of the day, growing tired of the unreasonable requests of the customers in the store. Why couldn’t we just have ordered more Easter things for today? I’m not sure if people realize this but what good does having Easter items on Monday or Tuesday do the store when the shipment arrives? I firmly believe if everyone in society was forced to work retail at least once in their lives they would take it easy on store clerks.

Our boss even took to dressing as “The Easter Chicken” trying to silence the mob by thinking that a grown man in tights, a chicken outfit and skipping with an Easter basket would bring a smile to the faces of children and adults alike. Even tomfoolery was no match for the harshness of a world that was making Easter as big of deal as Christmas Eve.

Maybe the rules have changed as I watched patron after patron wheeling up carts choked full of huge toy items, bikes, entire wardrobes of new clothing. We always got a handful of plastic eggs filled with pennies and semi name brand candy in our baskets. I didn’t know I had the option of getting a new bike or a skateboard.

Was the Easter bunny even still the local representation for the distribution of baskets or had he gone the way of the Tooth Fairy and been replaced by a fire shooting robot dinosaur or a really cool super hero ninja?

I never realized that buying stuff for Easter could be such a big freaking deal…but apparently it was and stores will be demolished as the cost for just one more happy holiday…until Monday morning at 8 AM when mysteriously it all gets returned.