I first met you as a child
not more than 2.5 years old.
On that old couch bouncing,
that old coffee pot cord hanging
there with your hand on it.
Bounce..bounce and down
I went in between the couch
and the coffee table with the perculator
coffee pot on top of me, scalding me
over half my little body, fire trucks
and ambulences appeared for me.
3 months in an oxygen tent in ICU.
You were there death, hovering,
waiting for permission to have your prize.
I saw you again at 5 Yrs old. hanging around,
I didn’t know what you wanted this time,
as I jumped on that bed, with old fold under springs
cast iron and everything.Bounce..bounce,
again I was propelled out the window,
I grabbed the sill and swung around.
There it was! The gas meter and smash
my head exploded into it! 18 stitches
needles stuck into my skull to numb the pain.
You hovered waiting for word. None came.
I saw you take my brother away, you lingered long
on hot days, as he screamed out for mom and dad
“that the cancer hurts so bad!” I was there only 11,
next to the bed, pretending not to hear
your torture in my ears. I played quietly on the floor,
plotting my hate against you death, forever more.
It was just one year or so before I saw you again,
as they delivered my Dads casket off that Air Craft
Carrier in San Diego. I was in between 12 and 13.
I stayed with you and dad for five day’s. Sneaking
into the place of rest after everyone left. To cry at
his casket my hatred for you taking him so soon.
“I swore then alone you would not break me, Death Ever!”
I grew cold as child after you rattled my soul.
Years went by as loved ones needed me and
my heart could not breath from being smothered
I invited you all the time you bastard, but
you wouldn’t come and play with me, why not?
You abandoned me hear alone no Dad and as you
would have it, no Mom either.
You knew I would not buckle as those wolves stole
my children away, they’re help, I was blinded to from you.
I could only see the unfairness of they’re Empire.
They’re plotting, selfish, poor loathing ways.
Alone I fought you in the depths of my mind,
no refuge from you would I ever find.
I cried for Mom and Dad just yesterday.
Now when we walk things have changed,
I feel your cold grip on my hand now, no
longer hovering about or standing silent in watch.
You teach me like a brother, hand cold to touch,
like my father or mother would about good luck.
I walk with you and you say,”look at the sunset,
look at the rain.” “See those birds at play.” I feel
your grip getting tighter day by day, I am not afraid.
Death walk with me on that ocean shore, show me love
again once more, let me hear the songs sang,
teach me the sounds of the harbor. Show me the lights
grey, upon her eyes. Walk with me death upon the
desert sands, walk with me, step by step, hand in hand.
Gaze with me again upon the stars in the sky.
Answer my questions of what ? And Why?
Teach me my memories over and over, reveal
to me the mysteries within me. I know you can.
Just hold my hand and walk with me,
as I say a proper goodbye to fellow man.
Death has showed me many things in life,
his mercy was the greatest thing he showed me.
This is coming to an end now, for I feel his cold hand
upon mine, working now inside my own body,
the same way it’s working in your’s.