A Guide to Modern, American “normies.”

A normie is a person whose life has been sunnily untroubled by concerns about attractiveness, money, being organized or fitting in with others. They lurk in many corners of everyday life. Their skewed perspective and easy privilege often clouds their views of others, and they often have no experience with emotions we take for granted, such as empathy or envy. Many feel entitled to their lives of privilege and insist that they have earned the things they have with “hard work.” This article will help you learn how to deal with normies.

1. Watch what you say.

Offhand comments might alert the normie that you don’t actually believe he or she is superior to yourself. Be sure to feign deference, particularly in situations where the normie is in a position of real or imagined authority.

2. Keep eye contact to a minimum.

The normie will alert you if they are willing to actually have some kind of relationship with you. Until then, don’t show too much interest or the normie will be forced to go into rejecting behavior. They are really unaware that rejection is possibly hurtful, so don’t take this personally.

3. Avoid self disclosure.

Normies have a narrow view of acceptable behavior, so even an innocuous interest, such as enjoying old movies, can be taken as a red flag.

4. Be very formal with normies of the opposite sex.

Normies believe absolutely in the power of their attractiveness. Normie males have an increased tendency to believe that most females find them extremely attractive and are quick to discourage interest from unsuitable admirers. Normie females share this quality, but they may enlist the help of normie associates to make rejection of non-normie suitors as humiliating as possible. Normie females also believe they are being stalked if they are asked on a date or get an email from a non-normie. It is pointless to argue with this behavior.

5. Normies are convinced of their own inner goodness.

Normies believe that their presence is really a favor to you. If they show up to meet you, they expect appreciation, no matter how the event goes. While they do not like traveling any distance to help someone or being put out in any way, they may occasionally be helpful.

6. They like to share tips on how to be more like…well, them.

For example, if a normie sees a person exercising, he or she often feels compelled to share tips on how the person can execute the task correctly. Normies love to correct non-normies and feel a flush of superiority when this occurs. The normie really does not understand that criticism can be unwanted and hurtful.

7. The only you is the external you.

Normies are not usually as perceptive as they believe themselves to be. While you are talking, the normie is listening, to an extent, but a large part of the brain is thinking, “He’s really fat. My goodness, what an ugly shirt. I hope he will stop talking soon.” You must work on deciphering the maze of social cues because one misstep could trigger the normie into passive aggressive behavior.

While it may be difficult to befriend normies at first, it is important to keep trying because, well, I’m not really sure why you should keep trying. But, please take these steps into consideration. Remember to have a nice, normal day.