Are you wondering if your man really loves you? To help understand what are some signs that a man really loves a woman, I have interviewed psychotherapist Todd Borstad, LCSW.
Tell me a little bit about your self.
“I have a masters degree in social work from St. Thomas University in St. Paul Minnesota and a B.A degree in English from the University of Minnesota. Currently I have a clinical social work license, which enables me to have a private mental health practice. I work with clients who have mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and life changes such as divorce or death. I also write about psychological issues from the viewpoint of metaphysics believing that we are always creating ourselves and establishing our identities.”
What are 7 signs that clues a woman in that a man really loves her?
“The following are my 7 signs that a man really loves her.
First, a woman may know her man loves her by the subtle things he may do for her such as opening doors, holding her hand at random moments or giving her a smile when least expected. These subtle actions are especially valid if say a man continues to do these things long after the honeymoon period has ended.
Secondly, communication is important. A woman would have to feel as if she connects with her man. Communication is achieved through words and actions. Without showing that he cares through actions, words are meaningless. If he were to say I love you and not express his love in a way that makes her feel special, then his love may not have a lot meaning to her.
Thirdly, men love to be adored by their women. And women love to adore their men. This is paradoxical because we are trained from an early age to be independent and self-sufficient. But in a love relationship men and women come together and forget about their independence and have a healthy dependency. This dependency needs to have mutual admiration for the deep connection to work.
Fourth, men are visual and concrete. If you catch him looking at you as you step out of the shower you know he still has it for you. He may be the kind of guy who likes to have sex with the lights on. He may express his love visually by telling you how beautiful you are, or how nice your smile is, or how sexually attracted he is to you.
Fifth, love intuition. Women are emotion based versus men who tend to be intellectual. Just because a man may be not as attentive of a woman’s emotional needs, does not mean that he loves her any less. It may mean that he is not as attuned to her emotional needs as she is. What is important to her may not be as important to him. But when she tells him what her emotional needs are and he provides it, then you have a clear signal that he is listening.
Sixth, role connection. You both play roles out of your own individuality. You know within if you are connecting or not. If you feel comfortable and relaxed with each other, then you probably have something special. If a woman feels that her man is being himself around her, then she most likely knows that a lot of trust and admiration has been established. She can relax, be herself and knows that her man loves her.
Seventh, sexual love. If the sex is as good a year into the relationship as it was when you first began dating, then you have something unique and special. If you have sex and the man rolls over and goes to sleep, you may have several things. One being a man who doesn’t care about your needs, or he may care about you but is not aware of your emotional needs. Or the worst, the relationship is over because it was based on sexual gratification only. A man who wants to hold you and cuddle after sex is giving the clear message that he wants to be with you both emotionally and sexually, and cares a great deal about you.”
What advice would you like to leave for a woman who really wants to know if a man really loves her?
“Communicate with your man and determine if he is really listening to you or not. If he is listening he will show it in his actions and deeds. If you determine that he is not listening to you then take it a step further and see where his devotion lies. You may strengthen the relationship or understand that this is not a relationship that you want. Both options are not easy. A kiss a day, or a meaningful I love you, is not too much to ask for or expect.”
Thank you Todd for doing the interview 7 signs a man really loves a woman. For more information on Todd Borstad or his work you can check out his website at dynamicmentalhealthclinic.com or his blog site at [email protected]
Women Men Love to Marry
When a Man Loves a Woman
How to Get a Man to Love You