There’s never too many articles out there that discuss domestic violence. As a former law enforcement officer, this writer is acutely aware of the high incidents and sad stories occurring each and every day. Despite the plethora of educational resources on domestic violence, the number of cases increase exponentially every year. Whether you are in a monogamous relationship, no matter what your gender or sexual orientation, you can easily become a victim of domestic violence.
The abuser is referred to as a male in this article, but can refer to anyone.Though the context is sarcastic (and not meant to be offensive), the message is serious and real. 1. Don’t date your partner long and get to him well. This assures you many surprises after committing to the relationship either legally or otherwise.
2. Make sure your partner has many weapons and likes to use them when he is angry or not level-headed.
3. Allow your partner to force you into sexually uncomfortable acts or situations. It’s okay, it will solidify your relationship and your partner will appreciate your sacrifice.
4. Ensure your partner drinks and/or does drugs frequently and likely has an addiction. This will make him a much better person to love and submit to.
5. Overlook the fact that your partner doesn’t hold his promises, sticks with his commitments, and is not faithful in the relationship. This will make the relationship that much more exciting and unpredictable.
6. Don’t love yourself or have confidence in yourself. How can you expect your partner to feel any differently?
7. Don’t pursue your education, career, or family goals. Why bother! Your partner’s dreams and aspirations are more important.
8. Remember that everything in the relationship is always your fault. Accept this as truth and never deviate from it.
9. Allow all the money to be in his bank account or wallet. He will always have your best interests in mind and take care of you.
10. Have children with him . Nothing says forever like sharing his last name and/or his DNA. It’s more fun that way, especially when it comes to custody battles.
11. Forget about those pesky friends and family members! What have they ever done for you? Is it not enough that your child has your mom’s frown or your dad’s nose? Let him isolate you.
12. If your are homosexual, allow him to degrade your sexual orientation and threaten to tell the whole world about it.
13. Allow your partner to alienate the children against you, a certain race, or gender. There’s nothing more to be proud of than a racist, sexist, mommy-hater.
14. Don’t leave him.
15. It’s okay to be afraid of your well-being, the well-being of your children, and that of your pets.
16. Who needs your deceased grandma’s jewelry or Aunt Gertie’s Bible? The fact that he destroyed them just helped you with your spring cleaning.
17. Never forget you are his property and nothing else.
18. Believe the person you hardly know, your family member, the person at church, or someone at work doesn’t need your help and being abused is none of your business.
19. Think this list is too depressing and not read the rest of this article. Who cares if someone is being abused? It’s not like it’s happening to you.
20. Ignore your children’s cries for help or stories of what your partner is doing to them.
21. Stop going to family functions. Your partner is too embarrassing to be around or it’s too much to lie about where he is.
22. Meet your future partner at a bar. This may be okay if he is not a bar fly. Otherwise, this may already be a second home that he will continue to go to while being with you.
23. He is being protective when he follows you, stalks you, or checks up on you a lot.
24. Being jealous is a sign of affection.
25. Wearing clothes not appropriate for the weather is normal–everyone likes hiding their bruised arms and legs.
26. Threatening you, even laying out a plan to kill you can be affectionately thought of as seeing your best interests through when you pass away.
27. Don’t tell anyone about your partner’s abuse. It’s none of their business, they don’t care, it’s embarrassing, you don’t want anyone to think bad about your partner, and you don’t want to depress them. See #18,#19 and #21.
28. Be passive, it stops the abuse.
29. It only occurred a few times, so that makes it okay.
30. No marks or physical abuse makes him a winner in your book.
31. Who needed that crummy job? Aren’t you glad he sabotaged it? The boss was such a jerk anyway.
32. Be put on an allowance. He is helping you financially.
33. Allow your credit cards and mail to be destroyed.
34. Tell him where you spent every penny.
35. He only abuses you , so he must love you more.
36. Being with a black partner or being non-white yourself, it’s expected to be treated like crap.
37. Allow him to apologize and give you gifts.
38. Place conditions on your support of an abused victim. This will help them with their independence, autonomy, and self esteem.
39. Give him another chance after having a lengthy legal record. Everyone deserves a second chance at life, especially those with a history of committing the same offense over and over.
40. How dare you wear that outfit. Take it off and let him destroy it.
41. Work harder on this relationship.
42. Find a partner who doesn’t share your religious beliefs. If he torments or ridicules your beliefs, all the better.
43. He had a hard home life growing up . Be more supportive to him and understand that he only abuses you because he was taught how to be a jerk early in life.
44. Avoid black men . They are such horrible fathers and husbands.
45. White women have it better and are rarely abused . If a white woman tells you they are being abused by their spouse, you should be very surprised.
46. ” Strong, smooth operators of love ” are the best kind to fall in love with.
47. Being abusive to the same gender in his family (like a male abusing his mother and sisters) is no cause to be alarmed.
48. Cruelty to animals is his way to get the animals to stop being so annoying and irritating.
49. Men are always superior to women. If you believe that, George Strait is anxious to get some ocean front property in Arizona off his hands.
50. Unrealistic expectations forced upon you is his way of nudging you to greater excellence.
Material for this article comes from personal experience that goes with being in two really crappy, abusive relationships.