The matriarch of any family is a source of much information. You learn how to tie your shoes, read, and present yourself properly to the world because of the woman in your life called mom. Yet, there are five things my mother never told me about love. Her failure to inform me had a lot to do with her desire to preserve my childhood. She decided to let me find out these nuggets as I matured and was able to process them.
#1. Good sex does not equal love.
Most females I know have fallen into this trap at least once. You meet a man who makes your libido sing. He has all of the right moves, so you think he’s “the one.” Wrong! Just because a guy is gifted in bed does not mean he is Mr. Right. If he’s unsupportive, a slacker or generally abusive, he’s not for you or any woman. Treat him like a trick, a male only good for a couple of saucy flings, and then stop answering your phone.
#2. Forgiveness is a key component of love.
As a young girl, my mother read me tales about the prince in shining armor who rescues the damsel in distress and they live happily ever after. I thought I was going to be her until I figured out this guy doesn’t really exist. Men are like women – fallible. True love requires a lot of forgiveness and patience. If you’re a person able to consistently give these two qualities to someone else, your chances of staying together increase exponentially.
#3. Who you love may not fit convention.
Ever been in love with a man who no one else can picture you with? If you’re human, the answer is “yes”. My guy was a foot shorter than me, a different race and less articulate than myself. Yet, I loved him. One of the things my mother never told me about love is that the human heart knows no form. Who you love can vary from person to person. The most important aspect for you to understand is when your heart is going pitter-patter.
#4. Love both empowers and weakens you.
Love is a two-edged sword. While this emotion can make you feel invincible, it also can render you powerless under the lull of another being. Finding the proper balance can be hard. When do you finally start saying “no” to someone who lights up a room and truly floats your boat? The answer will vary from person to person. Depending on your level of infatuation, you might say “never.”
#5. Happily married people go through “loveless” periods.
A well-kept secret amongst happily married people is that they go through periods where they don’t necessarily feel like they love their mate. Their marriage lasts because they don’t give up during this time and leave. Unlike others, they have faith that the fire will return and work on their relationship. Their efforts pay off over time when they have built up the kind of union that outsiders envy.
Isn’t love interesting? The above five things my mother never told me about love are life lessons most of us learn through trial and error. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you master them early, so you can apply your wisdom and walk down the aisle only once.