Well, ok , let me juggle that opening description just a bit. If a little bit of every man doesn’t want to be Charlie than I would suggest that a lot of men want to be a little bit of Charlie. Most? No? Well, Ok , for you guys who don’t want to admit it that’s fine. But here are the reasons I like the dude.
1. I liked his work. Let us not forget, before he became the poster boy for wives saying “I’m glad my husband isn’t like that” (though I know at least one, maybe two husbands who are worse) the guy actually did some pretty good work. Think about it, Wall Street, Hot Shots, Navy Seals, the cameo in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and, of course, Charlie Harper in Two and Half Men. Don’t forget the legacy that he left behind in film and television.
2. I mean this one. He has the marbles of a large, infected rhinoceros. This dude did what he wanted, wherever he wanted. Some might say that those are the signs of a spoiled, arrogant bastard. Touche. But my whole case for this piece is that many men have done worse or similar things once or a couple times in their lives and have never had the negative attention that Charlie got when he did it. The “regular dudes” stop when someone gets mad at them or they realize they are hurting themselves. Not Charlie. He gave everyone the finger and rolled on.
3. The Hot Babes. ‘Nuff said, I think, but I’ll go on for a few more words. A-list movie actresses, hot Melrose Place girls, Hookers and Porn stars. Now, ’nuff said.
4. He is still alive. Yup. After all the drugs, women, drinking, and careless behavior this guy is still walking. I admire dudes who seem to have a leprechaun stuck so deep in their ass that they could jump of Mt. St. Helen’s and land in a spa with two naked chicks, champagne and cigars with ESPN rolling a live interview with MJ across the patio.
5. Entertainment. I am not talking about the TV anymore. Well, I guess I am. But whether high, down, left or right; smoking a cigarette or in a mug shot, I can help but laugh at Charlie. And yes I mean “at”. He isn’t the godfather of my kids or my minister. Why do I care what does if he doesn’t. I look for the entertainment out of it. He is a funny, compelling dude. He’s a mess and I look at him and say “Nice! Hell if you’ll ever see me doing that shit…but NICE! You go on with your bad self, dude!”
And for all you people that claim that he cost people a livelihood by getting Two and a Half Men cancelled I will argue this: Charlie made many of them rich, a lot of them very well off, and gave the rest a great resume point.
So, YOU GO CHARLIE. Tell dad and Emilio I say “Hi”, if you’re ever in Laurel, MD or Bedford , MA-Lo ok me up! We’ll party. For a little while anyway. I’m out when the drugs or cops show up.