A great way to strengthen a marriage is to express your love. To help give you some ideas on how you can express “I love you” to your spouse, I have interviewed Psychotherapist Laurel B. Steinberg, LMHC.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
“I am a Licensed Psychotherapist in Manhattan’s Union Square where I treat individuals and couples. Many of my patients seek to improve the ways they give and receive love so that they may enjoy happier and more fulfilling relationships. For more information about my work, you may find my website at www.LaurelSteinberg.com .”
What type of impact can expressions of “I love you” have on the marriage?
“Receiving expressions of, ‘I love you,’ both verbal and non verbal, can have an enormous positive impact on the level of confidence in a marriage and increases feelings of shared loyalty. It sweetens the relationship and leaves little room for the anxiety that often arises when someone just isn’t sure of his/her partner’s level of commitment. Offering expressions of love can have a similar effect since it feels really good to be good to someone you love.”
What are 10 ways to express “I love you” to your spouse?
“The following are 10 great ways to express ‘I love you’ to your spouse:
1. Tune In
Ever feel like two ships passing in the night? With life’s hectic work, family and social obligations, little time is left to connect with your spouse. Making an effort to ask about his/her day and then lovingly listening for the answer speaks volumes about your sincere interest in his/her well-being. Is your partner nervous about an upcoming event? Check in later to see how it went!
2. Dream Together
Sharing the dreams you have for your futures and most importantly, for the future of your relationship, shows that you are invested in the union for the long haul. Looking forward to happy events, and making them happen, will fuel both of your fires and help you to surmount life’s daily challenges.
3. Pitch In
You will have more time to spend cuddling with your sweetheart in the evening if you accelerate post-dinner clean up by doing it together. Some household chores can wait but then there are others where time is of the essence. How about doing that chore before being reminded? Your efforts will show how much you cherish the sanctity of your family’s living space and you’ll both feel better and be more productive in neater surroundings.
4. Comfort Each Other
Life is fraught with hardships. For example, jobs sometimes lead to layoffs, fertility issues arise, health waxes and wanes, and money can get very tight. When the going gets tough, verbalize your commitment to each other and create optimism by engaging in positive discussions about each other’s strengths and prospects. Cling to each other like passengers on a lifeboat. Your shared encouragement, comfort and understanding are necessary to navigate choppy waters. Team effort and concern shows your love and dedication.
5. Enjoy Great Sex
Give frequent, leisurely sex a much higher priority on your weekly agenda. Make the first move. Be patient. TEACH your spouse exactly how to please you in the bedroom and take the time to LEARN what makes him/her go WILD. During sex our bodies release endorphins (feel good chemicals that pack a punch more powerful than heroin). A free and safe ‘high’ with no side effects that also feels good and brings a couple closer together? I’d like some of that!
Doesn’t it feel great to hear that someone whose opinion is very valuable to you spoke highly of you? Singing your spouse’s praises to the people you both know will surely find its way back. What a sweet surprise! Get in the habit and you will constantly remind yourself of the good qualities and unique gifts that prompted your decision to commit to each other and to marry. Celebrate your sweetheart’s decency, kindness, integrity and thoughtfulness by sharing it with others.
7. Celebrate Good Intentions
We all screw up at times. Sometimes that delicious salmon dinner catches fire under the broiler, you let the cat out of the door or out of the bag, or you drove the wrong way on a one way street only to be rewarded with a traffic ticket. Having a sense of humor when things go wrong when you know that your spouse MEANT WELL will get you through those tough and awkward moments. Don’t hold your spouse to a higher level of perfection than you hold yourself.
8. Warm Up
Touching doesn’t have to take place only behind closed doors! Small expressions of physical warmth and affection outside the bedroom such as offering an arm, holding hands, opening doors, giving back/neck massages, a quick kiss, a toast to each other whenever you clink glasses in a restaurant or at home, or even a simple smile or wink reinforces your loving connection in a BIG way.
9. Wear Those Fancy Threads
With all those beautiful clothes hanging in our closets, why is it that we always seem to reach for those same comfy (read: shlumpy) jeans? Wearing your best clothes/makeup/jewelry on dates with your spouse communicates that your together time is the special occasion that you were looking forward to all week. Dust ‘‹…”em off and throw ‘‹…”em on — you’ll look better and feel better too!
10. Give In
People have different tastes ‘” in cuisine, leisure time activities, home d©cor, etc. Remember the restaurant that you can’t understand why your spouse loves? Give your partner a treat by giving in to doing something that your partner prefers but you just aren’t that crazy about. Note: this does not include eating at a fish restaurant if you are deathly allergic to sea-dwelling creatures. Give your partner the gift of getting his/her way. Take turns letting each other have the final say. It will communicate that you both care deeply about making each other happy — an act reserved for those we LOVE!”
Thank you, Laurel, for taking part in this interview on 10 ways to express “I love you” to your spouse.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2959366/women_men_love_to_marry.html?cat=72″>Women Men Love to Marry
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2969884/when_a_man_loves_a_woman.html?cat=72″>When a Man Loves a Woman
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2881478/how_to_get_a_man_to_love_you.html?cat=5″>How to Get a Man to Love You