10 Songs Worse Than Rebecca Black’s Friday Ditty

Having just recently seen the video for Rebecca Black’s Friday for the first time, I must say, like most viewers, I find the song and video perfectly awful.

There is liberal use of auto tune, the lyrics are lame and Rebecca Black’s Friday just generally reeks. Like totally. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Anyway, Rebecca Black’s Friday ditty has set off a firestorm of criticism on the internet, morning talk shows and other entertainment venues. Friday has long since gone viral having been viewed by millions on youtube and elsewhere.

That got me to thinking. I know, that can be dangerous, but here is the conclusion I have drawn from Rebecca Black and Friday: as bad as this song is, the girl is thirteen years old, people. While she subjected herself to ridicule by putting the video on youtube in the first place, let’s not forget Rebecca Black’s tender age.

Rebecca Black is far from the only artist or wannabe artist who has dropped a musical deuce on the American public, to put it bluntly.

Here is my list of ten songs as bad, or in most cases even worse than Rebecca Black’s Friday, considering the artist performing these songs were given a recording contract and assaulted our eardrums with dreck nevertheless. In no particular order, here they are:

867-5309/Tommy Tutone
I still run for the radio dial, hands over ears when this song comes on an oldies station. This early 80s release forever seared that phone number in the minds of the listener to this day. I don’t mean that in a good way. There were stories that unfortunate owners of that phone number threatened to sue the group Tommy Tutone. Hopefully they took them for every dime they had.

Jenny, Jenny, who do I turn to? went one line of this bilge. I don’t have the answer, but if this song is ever remade and becomes a hit, turn this number into a suicide hotline…

My Sharona/The Knack
This song has been parodied many times from Weird Al’s My Bologna to Cheech Marin’s My Scrotum to My Toyota by someone. The parodies were all better than the original in my opinion.

The late Doug Fieger, writer of this uber-repetitive top 10 worse song than Rebecca Black’s Friday was the brother of the attorney for Jack Kevorkian. Draw your own conclusion from that.

I Wanna Rock & Roll All Night/Kiss
A cliche ridden hackjob of a song if I’ve ever heard one. Iiii wanna rock and roll all night and potty every day is what the line sounded like. Appropriate. I’ll take the Black Friday ditty if forced to choose…

Funkytown/Lipps, Inc.
The one and thankfully only hit by Lipps Inc. urged: won’t you take me to funkytown? over and over and over. Someone must have bought them a one way ticket, thank goodness.

Bad Girls/Donna Summer
Toot toot, beep beep, bad girls, talkin’ about the sad girls, sad girls talkin’ about the bad girls…Yuck! The sad girls must have been the ones having to listen to this song back in the late 70s or whenever this song was perpetrated on an unsuspecting public…

Jack & Diane/John Cougar Mellencamp
Suckin’ on a chili dog outside the Tastee Freeze, then later: dribble off those Bobby Brooks lemme do what I please has to go down as one of the all-time worst lines in any song in the history of recorded music…

Jessie’s Girl/Rick Springfield
I feel so dirty when they start talkin’ cute, I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot sounds almost like something a politician would say after being caught with his pants down doesn’t it? Another line in this worse song than Rebecca Black’s Friday is the immortal “she’s lovin’ him with that body, I just know it! Was Springfield, the former Dr. Noah Drake on one soap opera, pining for Sybil or some chick with multiple personalities or what?

Bad Romance/Lady Gaga
This drivel is quite possibly the worst of them all. Yes, much worse than Rebecca Black and her Friday song. While there is nothing original about either, at least Rebecca Black is not a freak show Madonna ripoff.

I listened to the song all the way through only once and ever since then, any time I hear the all too familiar strains of the opening line of She’s-No Lady Caca’s calling card, I change stations as quickly as possible before my ears start to bleed.

Sexy Back Justin Timberlake and Timbaland
I’ll tell you what JT. If you ever get over being dumped by Britney Spears, if you want to bring something back, let it be this song. Or Janet’s Jackson’s top you yanked off in the famous “wardrobe malfunction” from the Super Bowl halftime show a few years back, since I doubt even Wal-Mart would take back this song.

Who Let The Dogs Out/The Baha Men/ Whoomp There It Is/ Tag Team
What, you say, this list is like the old Big 10 conference? You know, 11 things packed into something labeled 10? No, I contend that these two are basically the same song in a slightly different package, kind of like the new “improved” Big 10 with the Legends and Losers divisions or whatever the conference that can’t count calls them this week.

In any event, these songs have one thing in common: they are all even worse than Rebecca Black’s dreadful Friday